This poor woman? whom you will notice is not wearing a sweater vest, nor does she own one
Was accused of being one of these:
Yes, an ax murderer. No lie.
You see, it is complicated, or not really to bloggers because we get this "online meeting stuff", but a friend, (Friend J) met another friend (Friend D) online. Friend J is a good friend of mine IRL. When Friend J said they had met this person, I wanted to 'meet' them as well, so I could, you know, give my stamp of approval. (yea, like it mattered) Friend D thought this was a grand idea, seeing as though she didn't know anyone in J's circle, and it would help provide some "realness" to the whole thing.
I totally approved. Friend D is great.
Then, Friend D told me she is coming to visit.
And is nervous.
What if Friend J is an ax murderer? I assured her that Friend J is not. I would know if this were the case. I can smell an ax murderer a mile away (okay, that's a lie, because I never want to be that close to one.) But! I know an ax murderer when I see one.
Friend D? Sends me this email:
My friend and I were having a good time laughing about the possibility of you being the axe-murdering partner, you know, the one who lures the unsuspecting women to town and sharpens the axe!
After almost falling off my chair; I sat back up. **Sweet!!** If someone believes that I'm an ax murderer? Then I will never be offed by one! I AM the one. We are highly territorial, so we stay away from each other.
Good News: When I hear that bump in the night? I don't have to worry. It's just me.
Bad news? You? When you hear that bump in the night? Run.
38 comments:
Is that better or worse than being a pedophile? Tough call.
"When I hear things going bump in the night? I don't have to worry. It's just me."
Favorite quote all day. :)
Your logic is just like mine!
Hahaha! This is an awesome story, and I really like your line of thought on this whole axe murderer thing. Now I want to be one, too. Can you start Tweeting that I'm an axe-murdering crazy person? I'd totally return the favor...
You shouldn't have posted pictures of your axe. Just sayin'
You shouldn't have posted pictures of your axe. Just sayin'
LOL
Are you sure those sweater vests aren't yours???
Crap. I'm pretty sure you're faster than me.
I'm relieved those are not your sweater vest. When you showed them I just assumed that they came standard at your school. "OK, this is your classroom. Here's the chalk board. And here's your lifetime supply of sweater vests. Please wear them on casual Friday."
Spaz!! But hmmmm now I'm curious...Friend A, B, C, D...I'm confused. Have fun!
I am not scared of you.. I know you would never hurt me.. Have a great day.. Great post and made me laugh...
Axes are so messy. Poison is much easier, and neater to clean up. Can be dumped in friends' drinks while they're in the loo.
I love this! hahaha!
omg... No, no say it is not so...
your main weapon of choice is an ax?
*gulps*
there goes my thoughts of soft hugs....
but then you are a teacher, what was i thinking.. you need a ax..
You are so lucky!! :)
LOL! That makes total sense that you are the ax murderer! but it doesn't make much sense that you are happy about it, unless you are just trying to cover that you are one... :) hehe.
Well, it sounds like you have nothing to worry about! Awesome.
you're a hot mess and i think we could be good friends, lol!
You and I....we think the same way:) All make sense to me:)
Holy. Freaking. Hilarious.
My first thought after my doorbell ringer after dark was immediately I gotta tweet Sara and tell her I met an axe murderer. :) Kid not.
Now I can say I 'know' one. I really don't want to meet you. Ever.
baaaaaaaahhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!
you are so hilarious
that's hilarious!
hehehehe I love your reasoning!!! great post, hahaha
haha, that is so funny! I love it!
I have never met a pretty ax murderer before.
Score!
;)
You never fail to make me laugh! Love the good news/bad news part!
Too funny post!
And also Doc's comment made me laugh!
Bear hugs,
B xx
Haha! Love it!
You are so funny!!
An axe murderer is bad enough...but an axe murderer that can run faster AND longer than I ever could is even worse!!!
It usually IS the sweet looking ones that are the craziest : )
So glad to hear you don't own a "teacher's vest." You had me worried!
And to think you though I was an axe murderer. Remember the email??? LOL... Address???
Happy Wednesday!
Wouldn't an axe involve getting dirty? Ewwwwwwww. ah ha ha
What's wrong with sweater vests? Oh dear.
So, all this time you've been worried about an axe murderer and you are she. Hmmmmmm...
Well you know, if you can smell an axe murderer, does that mean you can smell a sale on designer shoes too?
Wow, you've arrived!
You should be an ax murderer for Halloween! Make it official!
Hilarious post. I remember meeting a good friend of mine over 10 years ago and asking him if he was a psycho of sorts, which of course he denied, I therefore accepted his denial. Lucky for me he was telling the truth. lol Take care hun KC xx
www.katecollings.blogspot.com - always welcoming new followers, guests and comments xx
...one problem with your last scentence...your an awesome runner...WE could never out run you! :)
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