Passive Agressive? Says Who?

Just because I choose to share these letters on my blog rather than actually sending them out in no way, shape, or form indicates a passive aggressive tendency within myself. At all. 
I even looked up the definition of passive aggressive and decided, after a bit of deep soul searching, that not a single one of the characteristics have ever been used to describe me. (Just going to say it, in my world? Ambiguity and sarcasm are a form of artistic expression and never a form of masking feelings.Duh, right?) 

Dear Sister, (yes, I am referring to the one I always do, mostly because I only have one sister, but trust me, she is like having a dozen.) 


I am having a bit of a hard time writing this post when you continually message me on FB. Stop it. Unless you are telling me something useful, like what you want to get me for Christmas...then we can continue talking. Or admitting something I can use against you the next time dad is on my case. A smoke screen is always good to have as a back up, you know?

Signed, 

Your only sister who already has a list ready for you.


Dear Friendly but honestly, rather drill sergeant like at times Dietitian, 

I know, I know, you have that framed diploma hanging on your wall. (trust me, I studied it to make sure it is legit) I understand your thinking here- that you know better than I on what I need to do- but I don't think you understand. I do know better. Trust me. 
Since I am too much of a wimp reluctant to tell you this in person, here goes: 

  (and I mean that in the nicest possible way) 

 See? That is all. 

Sincerely, 

The patient who swears she is not double counting tallies any longer. (besides, we had this conversation about double counting before, and I *think* I came out as correct.)  

(sorry for the pause in typing there- we will pretend you could tell -but my sister finally came up with some good stuff) 

Dear Corey, 

I understand. You are still grieving Steve's death. I sympathize. However? 

If you tell me one more time how to take care of my new computer? Lean over one more time to wipe a smear off it? Reach over my shoulder one more time to adjust a setting? (yes! Yes, I do like my screen this bright. And I am juuuust fine with have a lower batter life because of it.) Well, it is not going to be pretty, I'll promise you that. (I am not talking about the computer, it is gorgeous. So fast and shiny.) 
 F

 With love and affection, 

Me. 

and Finally...

Dear World, 

What is the point of a holiday where we allow people to dress up in all sorts of costumes? I mean, it is fun and all, but I have said it before: We are giving axmurderers an OPEN DOOR to walk around in FULL KILLER REGALIA and "claim" they are headed to a "party" (we know what kind of party they are hacking about) 
If I am not being scared to death by potential killers, my eyes are being traumatized by unfortunate costume choices some adults are making. 

Enough. 

Yours truly, 

Let's stick to cowboys, astronauts, and other non scary things, okay? 


Thank you for sticking with me on that. Feels good to get it off my chest and out in the open. Now let's hope none of these folks read my blog this week, right?