Sara Types A Long Post...Beware

I am linking up with Shell at Things I can't say as well here, where other wonderful bloggers share inspiring stories. 

During the course of my treatment, I have grown close to another woman in the group. She is 19, an amazing person, and I felt immediately like she was a little sister to me. 


For a long time, I had a really- really- hard time with some of the issues she was experiencing. It is one thing to feel empathy towards her situation- which I certainly do- and another to have let it effect me in the manner in which it was. After some time, we figured out the reason. 


In her, I saw myself as a young woman, and she was headed down the same path I had. I saw myself, developing an eating disorder at the same age she now was (19) and the path my life had taken since. More than anything I wanted to stop it for her. To jump in, shake her, yell, shout, SCREAM, anything to let her know she had to stop, to get better...Really,  I wanted to transport myself back to that nineteen year old Sara and change the course of her life. To explain about all of the things the eating disorder would take away from her during the ensuing years...to desperately try to prevent the pain she would endure. 


I can't go back and change my life. I can only show myself empathy for the choices I made, move forward,  and most of all, be proud that in 12 years, I won't ever have to look back and feel the same sorrow I do over my past. 


For my young friend? I need to say a few things, knowing these are mostly for myself, my past, and my journey. Often, too often, we give advice to others which we should be giving ourselves. We turn situations around, give advice, have clear ideas on how others should be living their lives. We know this of course, but the mind finds it much more comfortable to help others, don't they? 


I've learned the best type of friend is the one who listens. Listens, listens, and listens some more. There is always going to be a plethora of others who are willing to share their ideas on how we should proceed, yet far too few who will listen and love. 


The last few days have been hard. 


As I watched my friend struggle, I wanted to say and do so many things. I wanted to tell her to stop, where she was headed, what would happen...I saw my past, the longing for validation, understanding, and love. Instead, I had to bite my tongue to the best of my ability and just show love. Really, sometimes we just need someone to say, "Your pain matters. Your feelings matter. We love you." 


She matters. She is worthwhile. She is beautiful, strong, and tells really, really good inappropriate jokes. She took the hardest step of telling her family about the situation. I did tell her that when she told them, things would be very ugly for a period of time. However, things were not beautiful as they stood, and from ashes rise beautiful things. 


I am finding my path from ashes, and I can't wait to see where she takes her journey. 


So, C? Remember when you shared this song with me? Here it is again for you: 




and remember this: