My Christmas List

While some of my actions may in fact warrant me coal in my stocking this year (but really? Nothing illegal, so I don't see how I could be punished...changing people's computer languages, passwords, unplugging mice, stealing their phones and updating their FB status to say how cool I am, bringing kitties home, hiding that plate I broke and shirt I shrunk, chucking tootsie rolls at people, giggling at men running marathons with bloody nips- is any of this illegal? No.) 

Anyway, since I feel I was pretty darn good this year, I am sharing my Christmas list in hopes my dear sister will read it and pass along the word. (Making a list is admittedly harder than it seems, as I seem to have an issue with buying myself the stuff on the list..) 

This Lululemon jacket. Love, love the color.  It looks better in person, in my opinion.

Check out the blossoms on these Mizuno Wave Precisions! I am enamored with the design. I could care less about how they feel, to tell you the truth, I just want running shoes that are cute for once. 
 Fine. I did just buy early gift myself a pair of Gel Kayanos last week, but a woman needs a couple pairs, right?

 Since my friends keep talking about this foreign concept called "Running Outside in the Elements Where We Could Freeze Ourselves, Fall, and Die Frozen to the Ice"* , I may as well try to add a few moments to my life by asking for a pair of YakTrax Pros 

 *don't laugh at the possibility either. Happened to my great grandpa. Well, fine, he was drunk and fell and froze to the sidewalk, BUT he had made this drunken trek many times previously and this one was fated to be his last. What if it is some kind of generational curse or something? That is why I never get the mail drunk on a daily basis like him.

Finally, my last wish. A maid who moonlights as a chef. This whole "household duty" thing is really messing with my personal time, and I need to find a way to lessen my load. If I could not cook, clean, iron, or do laundry, I would have much more free time to waste.

  Now, dear sister? If you are reading this? Spread the word. (and I am sorry for calling you rat face again this year. It is just a habit, it means nothing. Oh, and I am sorry I told your Vinh about you killing that squirrel with love, how you never brushed your hair as a kid, and had a neon rainbow strap on your glasses. I only told him, not like I told the whole world or anything.)