Lately, they have been ugly. Dark and moody, with little light or fun. I seem to hit a depression period around this time of year. Looking at past years, it is typically around this time of year, and takes me 3-4 months to kick out of it. Or even realize that I am here.
During this time, I ignore friends, ignore family, take people for granted, stretch people to their limits and am selfish.
Why? Because I want to be left alone. And if I push you away, you will leave me alone.
Healthy? No. Something I need to do something about? Certainly.
I have been listening to a sermon series on my iPhone lately, and it hit me hard. I don't usually talk faith matters on my blog, because I don't feel I have the knowledge to do so. Or the grace and competency.
But this series hit me hard, and made me do some thinking. (like those 2 conjunctions in 1 sentence? Back to school for me!!) There was a line in the sermon about whether you actually believe God chases after you. Do you actually believe He throws a party for you?
No.
I don't.
But I am working on it.
If you are the type, pray for me.
5 comments:
I am of the type. And I will.
He most certainly does chase after you. He has something wonderful and amazing for YOU, something more than you could ever imagine. AND...not only THAT, but He has something that ONLY YOU can do. That's why you are here. If He didn't need you....you wouldn't be here. How's that for blowing your mind on a Monday morning! LOL
I have bouts of depression too, and I am working on it. I'm here for something MORE than taking up space and I'm trying to figure it out. But just knowing that I am loved even when I'm a big grouch, keeps me going.
I think that is something that many of us (including me) need to work on believing. It's not an easy thing to wrap your mind around.
Praying that it will become part of your daily life!
Janis
I am praying for you...I am not a stalker...just a follower of your blog because you are honest and you inspire me to maybe get back to running (someday!!!) But anyway I will continue to pray for you...I have been following the Lord for a while but I forget from time to time that He cares and loves us so much...keep listening to those sermons and may God richly bless you and comfort you this holiday season...
I love thinking of the fact that God looks at me the way I look at my kids. Tate ALWAYS says to us "you will ALWAYS love me no matter what I do...RIGHT!" =) it totally melts our hearts that at such a young age he gets that.
Well, just remember friend, that our daddy is saying the same thing to us....no matter WHAT we do, he ALWAYS loves us!!
I LOVE to pray...and so on my list you will go! =)
p.s. we all are selfish. period
Consider yourself prayed for.
(and you're in trouble if Dana is praying for you - be ready for some good stuff!)
I've been working on that same thing lately... and I have to take it bit by bit that God loves me even MORE than I love my son. Which is an awful lot.
We're praying for you - if you need some alone time - just spend it with the one who knows you best :)
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