Every time I read this excerpt from the book I am reading, Jesus for President, I about die laughing. Why? I am not sure, other than I think it reminds me of all my imperfections, and to not judge others. Well, at least until I am perfect. Because, when I am perfect, watch out world- I will judge you then. Until then? I will wear my cotton/rayon blend (is that even possible?!) and enjoy this little excerpt:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's law. I have learned a great deal from you, and try to share my knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination-end of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is: how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor to the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there degrees of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting 2 different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of 2 different kinds of thread (cotton-polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev. 24:10-16)? Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do people who sleep with their in-laws?
................................. I don't know, it always gives me a laugh.................................
11 comments:
I found that funny too - "is there a little wiggle room there?"
Doesn't it make you wonder what the Bible would say if it were written today?
Oh my! The scary thing, is that some people take the Bible that literally.
Sounds like a fun book...it must be an exerpt kind of a day...see my recent blog post and you'll see what I'm talking about. :)
I was giggling hysterically over this...... :) Then again, I'm a sarcasm kinda' girl.
That is funny! I need to get that book~
That was hilarious. I think I will read that. My favorte is, "Should I smite them?" :o)
LMAO! Thanks for visiting my blog...mainly so I came to yours to read this! : )
I love it!
those are funny. thank God that Jesus came along to get rid of all that "sacrifice".
Thanks for stopping in at my blog. And for noticing (34 times) my china doll child. I stare at her beauty that many times a day too.
Hi! Thanks for stopping over at my blog!
Here's the deal with the spelling book. It is meant as a supplement for what kids learn in school, primarily for middle school kids who are having a tough time with spelling. For most of the guidebooks that I work on, I'm given a topic and an outline and I do the research and write the book. It's interesting!
As for morphographs, I did include lessons on word parts in general and recognizing meaning and spelling based on the roots and different affixes. But, I didn't specifically have lessons on breaking the words down into morphographs. I did, however, try to include interesting practice exercises!
Love this post.
As for #4 - Smite them!
But I must say - not liking butter IS a weird thing. But I don't like Cool Whip so who am I to judge. Oh, no, I just judged somebody. Please don't smite me.
Oh, so funny! And I love the picture in your header. And anyone who claims cooking is the enemy is a friend of mine. :)
Hilarious!!!
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