Are you afraid of an axe (or chainsaw, even shotgun) murderer slipping in through a window and sneaking in to your bedroom to kill you and steal your underwear, whilst you are unaware, because you couldn't hear them approaching because of your white noise machine or fan?
Or, am I paranoid? I mean, I won't even tell you when my hubby is out of town until he is home, in case you are an ax murderer, or related to one, or even leave my blog open on your computer whereas an ax murder could access my blog and read it and see that I am alone.
(*please don't assume my husband is a lot of help. Whenever I hear an ax murderer outside, he just snorts and goes back to sleep)
I know I don't have my address or anything, but come on. I would dare say any ax murderer with any smarts beyond swinging his ax and stealing underwear could figure out where a blogger lives.
I think my fear comes from a young age. I remember being 10 or so years old, when my mom heard an ax murderer outside our door. She somehow convinced me to go look out the window while she "stood guard." As I crept fearfully towards the window, she reassured me I'd live. I looked, then turned around.
My mom was in the other room.
She left me alone with furry animal making noise ax murderer.
I am 29 years old, and can count on one hand the number of nights I've spent by myself. Whenever Corey goes out of town, I go to my parents, sisters or somewhere else. Yep, I pull out my big girl panties and suck it up.
Actually, a few months ago, I had a run in with the ax murderer himself. I finished a workshop early, and came home to take a nap. I was blissfully asleep, when I heard footsteps moving across the house, toward the bedroom. I had no idea what to do. Scream, hide, panic, what?!?
The footsteps stopped at the door to my bedroom. I peeked. (aren't I brave?) It was my husband. He had a meeting in town and stopped home for lunch. He is so lucky I didn't drop kick him like I'd planned. To this day, I can't sleep during the day anymore. It's too nerve wracking.
So that is my question. Are you afraid of ax murdering serial killers coming to kill you in your sleep?
**In fact, I worry just posting this, that it will encourage ax murderers who are googling Ax Murdering 101 to my blog, where they will get ideas. Hello Ax Murder! I live in Arizona! 2121 Langebirge lane E!
63 comments:
I love sleeping with my ceiling fan on. It's nice to get the air circulating and it's nice to have a little noise. As far as the ax murderer part, I can't say that I've ever worried about that. I think you might be slightly paranoid - but I still like ya! ;)
Thanks for voting for Eli! I like to sleep with some sort of background noise, and I haven't found that it increases my irrational fear of someone invading my home. And I do have those fears. So I guess I don't worry about the ax murderer any more with the fan than I do without!
My hubs sleeps with Friends on in the background, he can't sleep without it...and I am learning to live with that.:)
I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes and hear a noise and fear it's a buglar all. the. time.
I can't sleep with extra noise---drives me crazy! I have to have quiet. My sister-in-law and her kids are all addicted to sound machines...I swear they make me a little crazier every time I hear one.
But think of it this way, if you can't hear the axe murderer, he can't hear you when you're getting ready to drop kick him.
Sara, Sara, Sara! Oh how you crack me up laughing!
Well, let me just say that I'm home alone at night 95% of the time since my hubby works nights. I'm never scared, never afraid. I'm just used to it. I sleep with my fan on every night and do like the extra 'rrrrrr' that it makes. Now I live so far out in the country, that if they get to my house and through my dogs, they're coming in and more power to 'em. Now we do have guns and I do know how to use 'em...and so do my boys!
This is Erica by the way, but since you apparantly have an axe murderer stalkign your blog, I shall be signing this as ANONYMOUS today. I shall not be linking back to my blog so that YOUR axe murderer can then hunt down your bloggy friends. But you know who I am!!!
~Erica (the skinny jumping mom)
We sleep with a dehumidifier one (which basically sounds like a fan) and I do jump at the sound of ax murderers! I think I hear something and I sit right up in bed, and bf's all "what's the matter?", and I'm hypersensitive ear mode - "sshhhh! there's someone in here!" listen, listen, nothing. bf shrugs. "Go back to bed". And as soon as I lie down there's the noise again!
But we live in a old house. It creaks. Ugh.
Oops, that was supposed to be as ANONYMOUS. Dang it... if I die tonight, I guess it's my own dang fault. Ugggh.
"Hi Mr. Axe Murderer, please be kind!"
First of all, wouldn't you just die if that was a real address in Arizona and something happened to the person that lived there after posting this? I know, I'm not helping you.
I have the same irrational fears. Remember, I'm afraid of helicopters. We do occasionally sleep with a fan on but not all the time. The thing that freaks me out the most is that we sleep with the bedroom door shut. My dog sleeps in our room and we don't want him wandering the house at night and eating the cats food so we just keep the door shut. I don't worry too much except for when the kids want to sleep downstairs in the living room... alone. If 2 or all 3 want to, I let them but always worry someone will break in and hurt them before we even hear it. But it just 1 wants to sleep down there I don't let them.
Girl u r too funny...I have no problem sleeping at night with my husband gone. My husband works nights and my 12yr old son and I are home alone...well with two outside dogs of course....maybe you should get a dog?????
But I really think it is all mind over matter. Maybe you should have your husband dress as an ax murder and conquer all your feers...oh lala :O)
Good luck!
It's not the ax-murderer I fear. Thank goodness TX allows us to have guns legally. The huge deer rifle under my bed should blow a sufficient hole in any size man.
I fear falling in the shower and having to be rescued naked and broken. Oh wait, I did fall in the shower. 1 week after I broke my foot. I broke my wrist during that fall and my husband was out of town. I have so overcome this fear knowing that with a broken foot and a broken wrist I was still able to finish my shower, get dressed, go to bed, and sleep through the pain until morning when my mom could come get the kids so I could drag myself on crutches w/a broken wrist to the doctor.
Oh wait, this is your blog and not mine isn't it. Sorry, I'll stop blogging now!
I'm not home alone at night very often but I do sleep alone during the day, when most break ins happen. I keep the dogs in their kennels during the day so I don't have any protection against unwanted visitors...I would freak myself out so often that we got an alarm. I sleep with the fan and the tv on but I know that if someone came in the house, I'd hear the alarm over anything else.
So don't worry, I'm paranoid too...
Um, I think about that ALL THE TIME when I sleep with my air conditioner on. I'm ok when Hubba Hubba is home, but become super paranoid when he's away.
I, too, had a run-in with an axe-murderer. Hubba Hubba was working the night shift (this was before seminary) and I was home alone. In the middle of the night, I heard someone at the door, fiddling with the lock. I jumped up, and ran through my options in my sleep deprived head. Run to the garage? Hide under the bed? Indecision froze me, and the axe murderer made his way inside our house. He came into the bedroom. He was Hubba Hubba.
I like the noise of a fan. That said I also constantly fear the ax murdered but I would most likely hear him regardless. My husband also leaves town on occassion....not that I would ever fess to that on my blog either.
I worry way more about fires than ax murderers (not to add another phobia to your list). Although, I must admit I was a little nervous at 1 am when the dog wanted me to take him outside and I knew with my husband's new medication for backpain, I could scream for hours and he wouldn't even notice. I kept to the open areas. . . As for tying to be a little private about my movements on my blog, I hear you . . but it is probably amazing the things we give away in our smallest comments. FYI, maybe you can join me in insomnia when your husband travels. By the time I fall asleep when he is traveling, I'm so exhausted that fan or not I would not hear him come in, but he would only have about a two minute window to come in.
I sleep with a fan on every night. I don't do well without one. The silence lets me hear every sound and I end up thinking someone is in the house, and can't sleep. Not good. So, see, with the fan on, I drown out the noise of the person walking around. A total surprise, see? No worries. Cuz, you know, if it really were an ax murderer, those extra seconds wouldn't make a whole lotta difference, I don't think.
In seriousness, though, we've taken every reasonable precaution available to a homeowner to avoid a break-in. I know that if someone were truly determined to get in, they would; but there is no open invitation.
A police officer once challened a group of us to try to break into our own homes, without breaking a window or doing major damage to doors. Imagine my shock when I, my amateur burglar self, broke into my own home in less than 30 seconds! I upgraded home security immediately...like that same day.
As for my blog, I never post about travel before/during our trip, only after. My last name isn't on there, and my location is limited to the US. Anybody using a visitor counter can figure out my city/state, but that isn't going to help them find my house. (We're next door neighbors in Arizona. I see you running every evening. Ha!)
My hubby likes to sleep with the fan, but I'm with you. I need to be able to hear the going-ons in my house. So I allow him to use the ultra quiet fan. And he must keep it on low. I'm already a nervous wreck, I don't need any added stress.
I hear the ax murderer during the day, which is why I won't nap. At night I'm dead to the world due to my friend sleeping pill. :)
I absolutely have to sleep with my ceiling fan on. It feels good and it soothes me.
So living the military life... I'm not just about the white noise, I actually set sleep on the tv to get myself to sleep. The ceiling fan is on but it's pretty quiet. I have an alarm dog. Tucker is pretty dang noisy at any point that he hears anything. I highly recommend getting a Tucker and then sleeping however you want to. I will admit that I have freaked out on a couple of occasions when Ray was out of the country and Tucker was flipping out because he could hear something. That's when I turn on lights.
First, my husband sleeps with the ceiling fan and a tower fan on all the time. He thinks it's great, I can go either way.
Now, I really, really want to laugh at you, pointed finger, doubled over snorting, periodically wheezing out, "ax murderer!!!" and continue laughing. But I wont.
Because I got a migraine one day and came home from work. While sleeping, I am awoken by a crash in the garage. I freaked. To the point that I grabbed my husbands gun. I have no clue what I was going to do with it. And in my tired/migrained state, I didn't even consider HOW I thought someone got into my garage. I eventually mustered the courage to open the door and found nothing.
Last year when we moved, I opened the hot water heater closet in the garage and found that the back of the trim had not been attached! That's what I had heard fall a year before! Oops.
All of us sleep with a white noise machine, it has been a blessing w/ the kids. I sleep w/ ear plugs in on top of that...my husband really snores, and I sleep really lightly. I have been known to sleep on the couch, if my hubby is not home, so I can hear any intruder.
I can pretty much sleep anywhere on any surface. I used ot take naps on a concrete bench at school with my bag under my head and my cell phone alarm set when it was time for the next class. I don't like though that my bedroom window is accessible from my side yeard. I don't mind leaving the back on open since someone would have to scale 2 stories to climb in, but I don't like leaving any windows on ground level open for that reason.
I would say your a little on paranoid side...but people have their fears. I do sleep with the fan on. My hubs (as you hear me rant about works crazy hours) is gone / workings nights but I'm comfortable being home along. I have a big inside dog and an alarm though. If a door or window is opened, the whole neighborhood knows it. And my husband is a cop...can you say GUN! :) I doubt Corey would go for that if he won't even let you touch his camera. LOL
LOL, your posts always make me laugh. I sleep with a fan on when my husband is home, but he was gone for a few weeks working out of town (thank goodness he is now back) but when he was gone I would lock all the doors, even my bedroom door (not like that would help) and one night I did think an ax murderer was coming to get me. I even posted about it. Lucky it was just some friends who didn't call to tell me that they were sneaking over to my house at 10p.m. :)
There are ax murderers all over my neighborhood too, and I have yet to stay in my house alone! I can spook myself without hearing a noise, so heaven help me if I ever do. I always look at my cats, and ask, are they acting normal, or do they seem freaked out. If they aren't freaked out, then I know i'm fine. How sad is that? I blame my older sister for all my messed-upness.
i too HATE sleeping in the house alone. when my hubby goes out of town, it's torture. now that i have my son there with me, somehow it's better. not sure how that's possible though, he's only 2!!!
we have a white noise machine for Owen in his room because our house is too small and he would be able to hear everything if we didn't. i can hear it slightly at night, but it's not too loud so i can't hear the ax murderer if he were to try and make a move. i get scared too and need to hear what's going on. we sleep with our ceiling fan on at night, so that helps cool us down without the drowning out noise.
well...there...now you know!
thanks for the laugh!
Sara you are so right! I'm leaving to Australia in less than a week and I need someone to housesit and no one wants to stay by themselves! My mom will do it but is going to ask my newphew to come along. Also my aunt was supposed to but chickened out at the last minute!OH my dad is doing it too but he's not scared at least that's what he says!
I always sleep with a fan on, in fact if it isn't on I can't sleep! I don't worry about the ax murderers so much in town, but in the country I always did.
Two years ago when there was a murderer on the lose I was very nervous at night. I closed up the place tight (in July) and made a barrier at the door. I was sure he was coming!
He killed a random husband and wife in their home not too far from here. Very scary!!!
I have to have noise in the background or I can't sleep. I usually have my ceiling fan on or the tv.
I figure noise would keep me safe from the ax murderers. Mainly because when I was younger, one night after going to bed and covering myself up with my comforter, my dad came in to kiss me goodnight and he asked me, "Do you really think that comforter is gonna keep you safe? A knife could rip right through it". Gee, thanks Dad. So I no longer sleep with a sheet completely covering me but I have to have noise.
so i just googled "ax murdering 101" and your blog doesn't come up on the first three pages, so i think you're good! =)
oh my... i was laughing all through that post, but at the same time i feel so sorry that you have a fear of that. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR MOM MADE YOU DO THAT!!!!
we sleep with a ceiling fan on year round and another fan in the summer. but i can sleep either way--with or without noise. we did get freaked one night, though. we woke up at like 2am to something falling to the floor. BAM!! it sounded like it was right out in our hallway but when we looked, there was nothing. we still don't know what it was, but assume it was in the neighbor's house. (we live in a townhouse so we share a wall.)
then one night really late someone knocked at our door so ben grabbed his baseball bat. all i can say is the way he hits the ball, i wouldn't want to be someone getting beat up by him!
and last week i had a migraine in the morning, so i got the kid's their breakfast and parked them in front of the tv and went upstairs and laid down. i awoke to the front door opening very slowly and quitely (no matter how quite you close or open it, it's still REALLY loud). i started freaking out too. i didn't have a phone in my room and the kids were downstairs and i had a freakin migraine. and then i heard the mailbox open and close and samantha came and informed me that we only got one thing of mail! i do still get nervous thinking about if that would've been a different scenario!
wow, i'm sure all these stories aren't helping your phobia. hope you can sleep tonight!
I am laughing so hard right now!
Get thee a security system. They make them with window sensors & everything!
When I live in Duluth (alone in a 1br apt in an old mansion) I came home from work at 3 AM (I worked as a bartender) and found a drunken stranger passed out in my entryway. He was just trying to randomly find an unlocked door so he could sleep somewhere other than my entryway. Or so I presume. I woke up my burly neighbor and locked my door.
So yeah. Security system = Good.
I get nervous at times. My husband may work late and I am alone. When I put the dog out at night and it is dark out I think maybe someone is going to get me. I do sleep better when he is home. You never know who is watching you. Have a great day.
LOL You crack me up! And if your fan is loud enough that you can't hear an ax murder breaking into your house, I'd venture to say that you probably need a new fan!
That being said, my hubby keeps a baseball bat by the door and a knife in his nightstand. So I say if you want to sleep with your fan on, get yourself a baseball bat!
I love white noise while I am sleeping. I can not sleep in total silence, because then I start freaking out over every little sound that I hear. So I like the background noise to dull it all out. We have a dog, we have an alarm, I am OCD and check all the windows and doors before going to bed, so I figure I would hear if someone breaks in. My white noise isn't THAT loud after all!
Reagan is the same way... she sill even ask me to turn the fan higher and louder for her!
My kids have white noise machines in their rooms, but I'm with you... I can't sleep well unless I wake up at the slightest shuffle or flutter... a little contradiction there, no?!
hey funny girl!
I am surprised at how quickly I got used to the fan!
That being said, if Big Daddy wasn't there every night, I would prefer me and the boys to be in a room that was deadbolted with no windows and a gun.
But nope! I am not paranoid!!
I can live with or without white noise. I do like a gentle breeze in my room while I sleep though.
When I was 9, my mom (who made a lot of mistakes when I was little but is a MUCH better mom now) left my sister (7) and I home alone. At night. While she went out with some friends.
I heard aforementioned axe murderer. I grabbed the phone and got under the covers with it and called the bar (I had memorized the number)and told her I could hear someone in the house.
An eternity later (probably 10 minutes) she came home to find that she had left the bathroom window open and the breeze was blowing the door open and closed. I won't even go into the lecture I got, but I assure you, I wished at the time it had been an axe murder.
So I guess the point of that story is... I feel for ya'! ... um, and thanks for the free therapy?
I get paranoid sometimes too! I'd be a nervous wreck without our house alarm.
So I am going to go out on a limb here and assume you've never actually encountered an ax murderer, which means that you've probably been freaked out a LOT over small animals and windy bushes, right? A fan or white noise machine (I use a fan) cuts down on those noises and lets you sleep more soundly.
I think you and I are just about the same amount of paranoid! I totally keep it a secret when Greg is out of town and I try not to allude to it at all just in case. Last time he was out of town I even told him not to post any pics or talk about Vegas on Facebook just in case.
Greg usually puts the radio on really really low when we first go to bed to help fall asleep but he always puts it on a sleep timer so it turns off.
When I'm home alone though, I HAVE to have some kind of constant noise so I usually put a CD on on the lowest volume setting possible. That way I can still hear if an ax murderer comes to get me but without the CD, I just freak out over every little noise!
You are so funny. Sorry I don't sleep with a ceiling fan on. I only think that ax murdering serial killers come when my husband is gone. Thanks for the laughs and have a great Tuesday!
I think I would rather be attacked by an axe than a gun. Maybe I can fight the axe guy.
Yes 100% totally afraid of axe murderers coming to get me and the wee babes while we sleep if hubs is not home. I keep the lights in the living room ON. Check the locks on the doors 100 times and keep one eye open all night long. It's nice to see I'm not the only one!!
axe murderers-yep totally terrified! what about when you have a shower and keep hearing noises over the water,i turn the taps on and off constantly:)I have the toilet light on all night,even when there is no kids here-admittedly rarely-
Heck yeah I'm worried about that! I thought I was the only one. Glad I'm not alone. I *can't* sleep when my husband is away from home. I tried it this past weekend, and only slept about 3 hours...I typically spend the night at my parent's house. You know, like a big girl. My husband likes to sleep with a fan on, but I like to hear the danger approaching, so I turn it off when I come to bed. As nice as the white noise is, silence works best for me!
yes. not even going to lie a little bit. i'm a scaredy cat and proud of it. and i do sleep with a fan on. if it's my fate to be murdered in my bed, so be it.
Ah, yes the ax murderer. He could live outside my door and my hubby would not hear him. That said I spent nearly 5 years with hubby working nights or always away on trips. You get used to being wide awake and afraid of every little noise :)
If he's not here I do okay although I am extra alert and it takes me forever to fall asleep!
Yes, yes, and YES! And I'm even afraid to write this down because I don't want to put it out there!!! ;-)
Fear rules my life Girl! Of course I'm afraid of that ax murderer!
We have to have white noise.....in fact, over the years, we have probably bought about 15 fans that we end up leaving in hotels because we don't want to lug them on the plane home.
as far as an ax murderer.....that is why we have our 120+ Rottie. Much better investment than an alarm system....and he is way more alert than my husband.
Okay I didn't have a problem sleeping with my fan/white noise on...but now that you mention it...I may never sleep blissfully again. Thanks Sara...thanks a whole hell of a lot! =<
Just playin...sorta.
The first time by husband went out of town since we moved to our new house I slept like crap. I kept hearing weird noises. I usually sleep fine with him by my side.
I think you are channeling my mother...just don't tell me that you are purchasing a golf cart for all of your "patrolling" needs and we will be ok.
You kinda just screwed yourself cuz once some freak googles "axe murderer" they're all over you.
And yah...I always have my tennis racquet nearby. For the axe murderer. And his, uh, axe. And my racquet beats his axe ANY DAY!
I had to get over this fear when my hubs got moved to night shift when I was only 27 years old! I had trouble sleeping for six months, and we had a dog! It's now been 12 years and I am used to it, the dog definetly helps!
I'm with Kam - anywhere, anytime. One night, in our old house out in BE, there were deer running throiugh the field and ran *smack* into the side of t he house. Made the LOUDEST noise that made me yelp. Good times. Stupid deer.
Wow- did you ever get some responses on this post! Glad you got a chuckle out of my OCD. Stay tuned though. I have written a post in which I refer back to this post on your blog quite a few times. I couldn't go to sleep last night until I was finished, I just didn't want to post it on Wordless Wednesday. Are you sitting on the edge of your seat now?
I sleep so hard, I'd sleep right through the axe murdering. In fact, I'd sleep through a train wreck.
Comes in handy sometimes, even if I did sleep through my babies' cries.
-FringeGirl
I can not sleep w/ out white noise and I don't worry about a ax murder, maybe I should though, good point.
I do sleep better with a white noise machine. The reason is, I believe, that I CAN'T hear the axe murderers.
Maybe you should try it.
I cannot sleep without my fan and now I'm weaning myself off the noise of the baby monitor.
Very funny! I have an alarm clock that also works as a white noise machine. Actually, there are choices of what sounds you want to use to tune out SNORING...which is why I have it! :) I like "rainfall" the best. After that one, "ocean waves." Anything is better than snoring (sorry to my husband, but he knows it's true!). I worry about not hearing the kids sometimes, but they know where to find me. They're big now--10,12, 14.
I'm not scared! I'm married to an ax murderer! Well, not really, but that sure is a funny joke we have. Maybe I shouldn't admit that as I'll have the FBI on my (IP address) doorstep at any moment. Oh well, too late now.
I promise to leave him at him should we ever visit your state! See now, don't you feel safer already?
Well, I wasn't scared ...until now.
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