After all, we are all so different, surely anything that comes out of my mouth could/can offend somebody right? Maybe you think I work out too much, not realizing that I only do it when
a) kids are asleep/napping b) my husband has them, doing man things c) when they are at daycare {we are required to bring them one day a week during the summer}
Whatever. You see, most of us know that we post only one side, or a facet of ourselves, of our lives on our blogs. I don't tell you all about every moment of my day, and nor you about yours.
The picture we give is just that- a snapshot. I have a friend who changed her blog address because she had too many people in her hometown that treated her differently because of her blog. Odd, as her blog is just about her life, and I think it is sweet.
My friend Jazz and I talked one day about our blogs, and how one could make it seem whatever way they wanted if they so choose. I could tell you all anything and how would you know the difference? Well, to be honest, it is the same way for most of us, MckMama, Jazz, myself...ect... we have "real" life friends and family who read our blogs. If I talked about how awesome my vacation to Italy was, Jazz or someone else would call me out..."Um, Sara? That trip must have been a dream, cause you haven't left town babe." Same with my thoughts on family, faith- anything.
Many of you have mothers/fathers/sisters who read and comment on your blogs {ahem, sister dear} I imagine they keep us real and have our back when backlash hits.
I am so thankful for this blog as a fun outlet, a great way to meet awesome people, and to vent like this at times. Now? I'd better go play with my boys!
and sorry if this doesn't make sense..I just had to vent!
44 comments:
Vent away girly girl!! I agree and I have been wanting to vent a little myself:)
Oh and that trip to Italy??? Um I was totally there with you!!!! I think?! In my dreams:)
I have been wanting to vent about someone....but have reservations because I always worry too much what other people may think about me. But maybe, just maybe, I shouldn't give a rip what people think of me!!
Great blog Sara! I hate it when people think they they are so much better than others. I think you're awesome ... if you lived close to me we'd be friends IRL for sure! Rock on sista!
I agree with you. I don't know why or how people can be so hateful sometimes. If someone doesn't like a blog, then hey, DON'T READ IT!!!!! I don't know about you but that's why I enjoyed teaching little ones...they have an excuse for acting childish :)
I am going to read her post. Some people just don't get it.
Makes total sense! And you're right-100%. And you can use that 100% anytime you like the rest of the year when you need it dear.
Well said. Some people don't have anything better to do that to creatique (sp?) other people's blogs. It's kinda sad.
You read my mind. I've thought about this a lot recently, but today I was really thinking about it...how, just like you said, we can post what we want here, and we are so open to people judging us and giving feedback where we don't necessarily want it...because they don't know the full story, just what we want to share, and, hey, maybe we have excuses for some things. But why should we defend ourselves? I think this is a fun outlet, just like you, and I love my "blog world" - sometimes more than my "real world"! :)
you read my mind girl!!!
i 'blog' (1) b/c it's a way for me to journal and 'scrapbook' our lives (2) b/c i like the 'sisterhood' that it comes with (3) b/c i enjoy it -- it's therapuetic
i love my blogging world -- it's freeing for me to come here and check up on my 'blog-friends' - that i'd love to meet one day :o)
I think my thing with finding out about the mckmama domestic abuse is that it happened while she was pregnant with Stellan. I was pregnant at the same time... and, I just can't imagine being able to hide it THAT well. Also, in her post she makes it sound like being abused by her husband makes her normal. That's a scary message to be sending. It's not normal. people idolize her... here she is giving out marriage advice, that people are listening too all while being abused by her husband.
- mommy.of.many
You go girl. I love my blog and share what I want and have fun with it. I really do not let my family read it just my Mom. Like you said it is my outlet and a way to meet new people. I love to blog...
I think that there may come a point when I might have to take my last name off my blog completely. People at work know about it now, as do the higher ups, but recently, I've really started thinking about what would happen if I started job hunting again, etc.
I actually have had very, very few negative comments, and have never had a negative email, which sort of surprises me, since I can be irreverant, AND Mormon.
I have very short interactions with my clients and they don't know my last name, but if I ever went back to being a caseworker, there's no way I would want them finding my blog.
I read McMama's post twice yesterday and tweeted about it, too. I feel terrible that after she had been through anyone has the nerve to say anything negative about her, to make her seem not real, whatever - I just can't stand people like that. Only out to hurt others who are honest, and sharing a part of their lives with us. I love the blogging community, it is just wonderful most of the time. But the meanies have to go! Also, I agree that it is only a part of our lives we are putting out there - for instance, even if I have a bad day at work I'm not going to blog about it because I would never want my boss to find out, you know? And I'd never talk about my sister-in-law in a negative way 'cause I know she sommetimes reads my blog, and certain others, too... so there ya go. My blog is 100% honest and real but I will keep some things private!
The problem is that some people make it their goal to find fault. I don't write my blog for my "followers". I write it for me. If someone chooses to read it and like it then that's fine. I don't bat an eye when I notice my follower number has gone down. I figure they just weren't interested in what I have to say, and that is fine with me. I wouldn't want people hanging out, lurking and being rude.
It just amazes me. If you don't like what someone has to say, their life or their beliefs....stop reading! It is that simple.
What a totally great post. I have often thought about this, what do people really think of me out in blogland. I love the example of you exercising. I have often thought how many people think it is so crazy that we spend so much time and money on a race car. But like you said they only see one side of the story.
Speaking of people in the hometown that read blogs. I agree they totally keep us real. One thing that totally makes me mad is the people in hometowns that read the blog but don't comment. So when you are catching up with them and you think they totally don't know what you have been up to they really shock you as they have been reading the blog faithfully but have never commented once. Oh, how that will make me fume. I guess I better get off my soap box and say great post and I hope you have a wonderful day!
I totally agree with you. Vent away!! Your true bloggy friends love to hear it. :)
I'm with you 100%, Sara! People can be sooo mean-spirited, on purpose. It really makes me sad to think that that's what their goal is & that's what makes them "happy".
Fortunately, there are far more lovers than haters!
As bloggers, we do put ourselves out there. I got a nasty comment about a post once (Teacher Protests) and wrote a post about it! (Rebuttal) LOL :) Your blog is awesome and anyone that talks s@#$ on you is a hater.
Well said! It is sad to see that some that blog are criticized harshly for being honest. I see blogging as venting-- I used to journal (and I still do when my thoughts are private), but I see blogging as such a great way to keep your friends/family updated on life and pictures and to get out anything you deem appropriate. Any frankly, I have 3 words for those who don't like what I'm writing: Don't Read It!
Lol :) I've only had one person call me and chew my ear off for something I've blogged and that's precisely what I told that individual. I'm not blogging to offend people. I'm not blogging FOR them. But I'm blogging for me and my one brother and SIL that live far away. And.. by the way, I love doing it!
I agree, Sara!!
Some of my family and a few friends will read my blog, so that would be totally embarrassing for me if I made stories up..lol. But, I do have a bloggy friends on my Facebook who can see that I am who I say I am!
I completely agree on the snapshot statement. I read blogs where I KNOW things are being painted as better than IRL, but a little creative license is being used. I sort of take all blogs with a grain of salt because of that. Call me a skeptic? Probably.
I have had some really bad experiences with old blogs... which is why I kept a private profile forver and why I still keep search engines disabled from my blog. I just don't need the judging anymore. I blog to connect with others, not go gain readers. But it's taken me 4 years to get to that point. And what works for me doesn't work for everyone - "to each their own", I say.
I think the issue a lot of bloggers have is with children being involved with blogs. I don't know the whole Mckmama story, but I worry about weirdos stalking her due to her public info being so easily accessible. It's a fine line that others (Dooce) have had to walk. I don't know what I'll do when I have kids. I do know that every post that mentions Dave gets approval first, because it's his life too.
It kind of seems like a gray area, you know?
I completely agree!
And there's a simple solution for the haters...if you hate a blog, don't come back! What's the point, other than to cause drama? Come to the realization that you don't like/agree with the blogger, and move on!
I have to admit that sometimes I wonder what people may think when I write certain things on my blog but then when I really think about it, it is MY blog and if people don't like what they read, it's fine with me. I refuse to sugarcoat things or exaggerate to entertain other people.
I don't understand the need to bring someone down just b/c you don't agree with something they posted. Either keep it private (and respectful) or just walk away. I don't get why some people wanna stir the pot.
This was a great post!!!! It seems that a lot of us feel strongly about it, as well.
I write my blog as a journal, and will probably put it into a book each year for my kids to read! Everyone has a private life and is allowed to disclose and write about whatever they want! It's what you want to do, it's your blog and you don't owe anyone explanations about anything! I totally agree with you! I honestly like her blog and the positive things she puts!
Oh my gosh! You mean you really DO run as much as you say you do?
I haven't read MckMama's blog yet, so I'd better get my butt in gear and head on over there!
I know what you mean about your friend who had to change her blog address. Sometimes I'd give anything if my local friends and family couldn't read mine so that I could put my true feelings about some things on there. BUT I would never want to offend family members, or church family, so I bite my tongue and don't vent when sometimes I'd REALLY, REALLY like to! I thought about starting a private venting blog, but then who'd really want to read all my rants? ha ha ha
Amen sista~! I love visiting you. :)
My blog was started as my personal outlet to pour out what was on my heart.....sometimes it is deep heartfelt thoughts, sometimes goofy tidbits of information.
I don't have a ton of followers/readers, but for the few I have....I hope that in some way, I can help them get closer to God, or help them know that they are not alone in feeling certain ways or acting a certain way. I try to keep it as real as I can....because I don't know any other way. I am who I am. Always have been....some people don't like me for it. And that's OK too. :)
huh. I'm lucky I've not yet had anything negative on my blog. Tho I suppose I wouldn't care at all what someone else thought. BUT I don't have my name anywhere...just in case anyone from my work happened upon it...making FUN of yoga students wouldn't so much go over well with corporate!
Seems like some people out there just want to find and point out ONLY the negative. So annoying, all of us have at least one thing in our lives we keep private, and many of us have more than that!
I haven't yet had anyone really take shots at me or my blog, but then I'm not very controversial... I wish that people could just express themselves honestly without being accusatory, though. There really is no call for that.
We do put ourselves "out there" by having a blog, but it still doesn't make it right when someone is so negative. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say it at all!
I totally agree with the fact that our blogs are just a snapshot of who we are.
There are so many things I would love to blog about but I have to be careful about who reads my blog (ahem, mother-in-law). Even if I could blog about those things though, it still would only be a snapshot of who I am and all that is really going on in my life.
I think it is awful what is going on with MckMama and I too was a little upset for her when I read that post. So sad and pointless.
I once read a blog where the blogger did a confessions post allowing anyone to confess whatever they wanted anonymously or not and one person commented that they thought a certain mommy blogger was fake and just used the situations in her life to get stuff from people. Turns out that mommy blogger was MckMama and turns out the blog with the confessions post disappeared after that post because of all the upheaval that happened after that commenter said that. The blogger also got rid of her Twitter and her other blog.
Crazy stuff out there in blogland but totally love you and can't imagine anyone having anything negative to say about you!
I think this is an excellent place to vent, we love you and your venting. :)
Talking about your Italy dream, I dreamed last night about being in a mall and I was shot--send your Italy vibes my way. Um...thanks. :)
Vent away. I hate the trolls who make blogging less fun.
I never understand that because the owner of the blog should be able to write anything and everything they want. It's THEIR blog.
people are so hateful. i read the blog where everyone is trashing the poor family.
its so mean.
people have nothing better to do with their time. they seem to be jealous their blogs arent "famous"
Why didn't you invite me to go to Italy with you?!?!
Vent on, sister. I get it, and I understand! And I get mad too!
What a great post!!
You've got an award, hop on over to my blog and pick it up!
It's so awful that people say such negative things. Your blog is really wonderful though, I'm following you now and have put your badge on my blog. What a beautiful family!
I think people like that are just jealous because they don't have their own blog. :)
I just read a couple other blogs who had a similar topic.
I don't understand why others have been so negative against other bloggers. I really don't.
Sad.
Thanks so much for visiting my blog the other day!!
xoxo
What is scary to me is that there are actual websites dedicated to people's dislike of Mckmama. Her name, address, value of her house, children's real names, and her husband's probation record are all over the net.
But I have NEVER read one comment where anyone is concerned about the CHILDREN. With such haters out there, it is scary! When does a loving mother decide it is better to put down the pen and circle the wagons? Seriously, what could possibly be worth being trashed on multiple websites and having your privacy stripped away because people dislike you so much they want to expose every skeleton in your closet?
There are jerks everywhere, both in life and in the blogsphere.
Yup, it's your blog, do what you want to with it. The only time you should be writing for others is if that is your aim; if you write for you, then you shouldn't give a hoot about anyone else's opinion.
I hate that, even though my blog is anonymous, some people I know have found it so now I feel I have to sensor myself to a certain point. I hate that.
I feel your venting. I just read MckMamas posts over the last week and a half. I have, of course, been somewhat updated via Twitter, but I have not had a chance to read any blogs lately. This is mostly due to the fact that I have actually had work to do at work. Imagine that. The nerve of some people. HA! Anywho....I was ashamed of the people that have tried to hurt her. She is such an awesome person and already puts up with so much. I felt like telling those people..."Pick on all of us. Not just her. We all have things we don't share. Not because they are hidden...just because they are not broadcast."
Sorry I havent been by in a while. When I updated my blog template I lost all my fave blogs and have been adding them back slowly but surely. Since I don't "follow" many people's blogs, I am having to do it manually. :-)
So if you get some comments on some old blogs...its just me...catching up!!
PS - Sorry bout the IT BAND!!!!
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