Long Story, complete with run on sentences for maximum effect

Last night as I was lying in bed, I heard a noise. You know how I am about noises, so I waited for a 23.7 seconds a few minutes and woke my husband. "Hon, do you hear that noise? What is it?" He actually listened! Then? He even decided to get up and investigate, which sent me into a panic. Usually he just tells me to go back to bed.He investigates.Comes back in.

"I can't tell if it is an animal or a person."

Fabulous.

Then he decides it is coming from the attic. There must be a mouse or something in the attic.

That is, until I walk by the vent in our room and hear the noise. It was in our vent. Now, this came as a relief because

a) it had to be small and light enough to fit in our ductwork

b) things that are small and light enough to fit in ductwork usually do not carry axes

However, it also means we have a mouse stuck in our ductwork. Why?

a) we live in a 30 year old house that is probably not air/mousetight in all areas

b) we are remodeling/moving walls/leaving doors open at times and the mouse scampered in.

Hubs Great Idea? Stick my hand down the vent in the wall to set a mousetrap.

Being the dutiful wife I am, I did it.

5 times

Set the trap, go lay back down, hear the trap go off, go check it, nothing, set it again, lay in bed...over and over. Peppered with Corey's comments, "I don't want it to die in there. If it dies in there, it will stink. Remember in high school, when that mouse crawled up into your old car and died?"

{Yes, very well in fact, it was a horrible stench. My dad ended up opening all the doors and running the heat on high for 2 hours trying to roast the body.}

Finally, at 3:36 a.m., with both of us sitting there, staring down the hole with a flashlight? Mr. Mouse comes and walks into view. Cute little bugger. We watched him scurry around trying to get out for a few minutes when my hubby comes up with Great Idea #2 of the night.

"Why don't you stick your hand down there and try to catch him."

Sure babe, that sounds like a great plan. I'll just grab him. Maybe we after he bites me, gives me rabies and I have to go to the doctor and get all sorts of shots and tests and maybe even hospitalized for weeks eating bad hospital food and go rabid and stuff, we can keep him as a family pet.

My Great Idea? Construct a ramp using wood to allow the mouse to scurry up. At the top of the ramp will be the mouse trap. The mouse, being hungry after his long night of driving me nuts running back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, through the duct, will stop for a snack of peanut butter {I know, I almost licked the stuff of the trap myself} and BAM! We've caught the mouse.

{and I don't even get paid for a brain like this}

Corey's thought? Go buy another trap in the morning and repeat the process. Dork.

So we finally, at 4:24 ended up back in bed.

Corey, "I hope he doesn't die in the vent and stink."

"Well, follow my plan and he won't. By the way, do you think mice have eyelids? I mean, his eyes were pretty big, but I didn't notice any eyelids."

"I am pretty sure he does babe, after all, when they are dead, their eyes are shut."

"I see."

Right now? Guess what has been constructed and is currently in place down the hole? That's right. We'll see who is smarter now.

And this? My arm. Full of bruises from jamming my arm down a vent.