ER Fun

After spending 2 hours at the doctor this afternoon with Asher (who has strep), I was more than ready for a good run, so I came home and took advantage of the weather and ran 10 miles. (fine, it was supposed to be 7 and I took a turn that was longer than I thought)

I pull in the driveway, and Corey makes the mistake shows me a cut on his wrist, where he sliced it throwing old glass away. I insisted it needed to be looked at by a medical professional. And although I consider myself pretty close, I needed a second opinion (you know, other than twitter.) So off we went.

(Insert here about how Corey pretty much faints at the sight of blood and passes out at needles.)

I had to drag him in. Where we sat for 2 hours 17 minutes before being called back. Now, this might sound painful...

BUT! During this time? We were able to watch 3 people vomit all over the waiting room, one girl escorted out by police and hear several conversations which made you question the future of the human race. SCORE!

Did I mention that as the people wretched on the floor and the chairs, NO ONE came out to clean them up, or bothered to call a custodian? One man asked for wipes to clean up the chair where his beloved had vomited. The receptionist? "Don't worry, you won't need to sit, she will get called back soon." Nice.

Finally getting back to the room, the fun only continued. My favorite lines during the wait?

Nurse, can I get a hand in here? I need to do a rectal exam. Yes, I giggled.

apparently our patient here must have been a bit hard of hearing, because the doctor proceeded to SHOUT his way through the ensuing exam.

Now, you have a urine infection, you see, your urine was full of pus...If you could just turn over to the side here and press back into me...you will feel a pressure as I turn my hand...does this hurt?...You have a nice feeling prostate here...

Corey? fainting. Me? taking 'er all in.

At the same time, in the curtain room to the left of us?

Are you sure this catheter is the right size? Does this hurt? We can put a smaller one in if you need us too...(man moans) Okay, I am going to push it up bit further now...let me know if that hurts.

Corey? fainting. Me? taking 'er all in.

When the doctor arrived, Corey was muttering things like "escape, she's a masochist, I can't believe we are here..."

Luckily, his doctor was really cool, and was able to keep him from passing out from the numbing shot AND the tetanus shot he was lucky enough to get.

All too soon, it was time to go. I could have eavesdropped all night, alas, we needed to pick up the boys.

Where Asher proceeded to throw up all over Corey, the car, and himself...

If you need me? I'll chained to the washing machine. Forever.