ADHD Part 1 (in 2 parts because it could get long, and I am getting bored of typing about it.)

 I figured as long as I am parked here on the couch with Asher (who has strep) I may as well finish this post...which has been a draft since...um, January. 
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Yes, I have ADHD. Yes, it was officially tested and diagnosed. (also known as Putting Sara in a Small Room for 4+ hours and Making Her do some Testing. Then Asking Her if She Always Shakes Like This, and Taking Away the Blocks Because She Wouldn't Stop Messing With Them.) 

However, the tester and I both survived, relatively unscarred. (She did say my results were "interesting" as I had noted before. What does that mean? I mean, someone who has been doing these tests for 20 years says I'M "interesting?") 

I thought I'd share some of my experience with the process, testing and diagnosis here for you, as I have had a few questions regarding it. 

I've made no secret of the fact I have a teensy bit of a hard time sitting still.
And concentrating
   and remembering things
like my wallet
and my phone
and appointments
sometimes my lunch
or to mail things
to finish something I start  
like a sentence
or a thought
I get bored of myself                                                    
 quickly
and really like shiny stuff
                           (fine, my coworkers will tell you it doesn't even have to be shiny) 


I can be very impulsive, 
and hyperfocus on one thing for an amount of time.
This fall, after fine, they first scheduled my ADHD testing in 2003 a bit of time, I decided to go ahead with the testing. I'd been hearing it for years, how I couldn't concentrate, sit still, apply myself...blah blah...
It finally reached a point of where I had to decide for my family, and myself, whether it was better to go ahead with the testing, or continue on the same path I'd been. So, I tested. 
The testing process itself is actually quite involved for an adult. Many times, children are diagnosed by a discussion with parents, and feedback from teachers and caregivers. However, adults? We have to go through a series of tests, interviews, and those things where you have to fill in the bubble saying:  
a) never ever ever
b) always
c) all the time, in fact? right now
(Due to the fact I LOVE conditions, I could spend a year arguing the questions on these, so they stress me out.) 


Why do we have to go through this process? Because ADD/ADHD meds are generally stimulants. Doctors are (rightly) very hesitant to prescribe these types of meds without the data to back the symptoms. 
Simply, the tests (largely the Wais-IV) are used to look for discrepancies in mental functioning. If there is a large enough deviation between different areas, it is a predictor of ADHD. There is no "test" for ADHD, rather a series of different components looked at in conjunction.
My testing came back as predicted, with over 2 full standard deviations between my working memory and verbal comprehension/perceptual reasoning. A difference in these areas is what they are looking for in considering diagnoses. (what was so "interesting" about me? Apparently the 2 standard deviations. My working memory is at 101 (from what I remember), so to be that far off from the other areas is clinically significant. Or so she said, and since I paid her $$, I shall believe. Besides, I like to do things big.) 


From all the data, the conclusion is that I have ADHD with hyperfocus. Easily put, my brain can be compared to a microscope. I am either out of focus, unable to see anything clearly, or too focused, unable to see the big picture. The only problem? I have no control over the dial to either focus in or out. 
I have chosen to try the medication, and it has worked wonders for me. Yes, I still forget things, am distracted easily, and can be impulsive. It is not a "miracle" medication, rather a tool to help me manage the symptoms along in conjunction with behavior modification. 


Would I recommend the testing to others who may have adult ADHD? That is a decision only you can make. You are the only person who truly knows what this is doing in your life, the effects on job, life, relationships. Many times adult ADD/ADHD is linked to anxiety and depression. Treating one can often help the other. For myself? It was the right choice. I'm still "me", it just means I might be able to finish 3/5 sentences without losing the thought. I'm not as impulsive, have less anxiety, and my self esteem has improved. There are drawbacks, naturally, but there are drawbacks to not treating it. I have chosen the path that works best for me. I'm not sure if this helps, but I thought I'd share some of my observations. 
I'm planning on talking about the "social" side of the ADHD tomorrow or Thursday. (and yes, i mean in March, not January. I mean, hey, I can get this done in a timely manner. I have only been working on this post for 2+ hours- and have gotten up 7 times...) Feel free to let me know any questions you have (that I may or may not be able to answer!) Or you can tell me I forgot to elaborate on a point (again). I have this thing where I sometimes think others can read my mind, so I don't explain things. Who knew they couldn't!?