Minneapolis Marathon

To be honest, I don't even know how to recap this race. I'll just blather and hope it makes sense...or at least a little.
Today was the Minneapolis Marathon. It is the second year I have run it (shout out to Richelle for the giveaway that paid my entry!) I remembered (too late obviously) that I swore I'd never run it again because of the heat last year. (sometimes my intellect scares me) 
I watched the weather forecast all week, anxious, anxious...Actually, up until Friday, it looked great. By Friday, there was a new forecast high of 82 degrees and sunny. Which is perfect Minnesota weekend weather...just not really great running weather. 
I do not do well running in heat, and this year has been odd in Minnesota fine, who am I kidding, it is always odd weather here, as we have gone from cold to hot, cold (we were all freezing on Wednesday) to hot again. 
Honestly, I hate "blaming" my performance on the weather. It makes me feel like I am making excuses. It doesn't change the outcome, nor does it change my feeling of how it went. 
Moving on nobody likes a pity party sara
The first 13 miles? Awesome. I was slightly worried when at 6:45 a.m. I did not need any layers, and could see NO (none, zero, nada, would it kill us to get ONE 100 mile long cloud?!) clouds in the sky. There was a slight breeze, plenty of shade, my pace feel great at 9:30 minute/miles. Actually, I felt like I was holding back a bit, but wanted to be careful for the second half, where I knew it would be warm with little to no shade. 
Miles 14-16? Started warming up. I was already wet, but this is where I started to feel the effects more and more. I did some dry heaving somewhere in the 15-18 mile range, but not sure where. It is pretty much a blank right now! My pace slowed, and the fact that I had had to go to the bathroom before the race started but no longer needed too was worrisome. (I took it as a sign that my body needed those fluids again and somehow magically reabsorbed them as electrolytes with wings.)

 

Here I am at mile 18.5- all fresh as a daisy and secretly hoping I'd pass out. 

From here out it was brutal. The sun was hot, the breeze was gone and there was no shade. The other runners and I were making jokes about how we loved running in the heat, while the (very few) spectators gave us sympathetic glances and yelled, "You are so brave!" or stupid

A few things that may have ran through my head:

-Who hid the shade?

-Stupid stupid stupid

-Why am I not able to keep my feet on the trail? And why does the top half of my body seem to be leaning to the left, while the bottom is headed right? 

-Spots, oh the pretty spots!

- Oh, spots.

- Is it possible for my stomach to spontaneously combust? If so, this is going to be embarrassing. 

I had to stop at a med tent for a bit somewhere (again, can't remember where- somewhere in the 20's!) but headed back out when I could prove I knew how many fingers they held up and stuff. 

I was mad at myself for awhile. Mad that the heat was bothering me, telling myself that it wasn't bothering others as much, that really, it was my training, food, me that was the problem. 

But really? My body felt good. I had no aches, pains, hurting knees, never felt a ting from my IT band, nothing. I just don't handle heat and humidity well. I never have. 

I dropped back...and back...and back...and finally hit the 4:45 pacer. I had already accepted that this would be my PWRSF (personal worst race so far) and was honestly surprised I hadn't hit the 5:00 group. Every time I tried to pick up my pace a bit, my stomach would go ballistic. Around mile 22-23, I felt my fingers tingling, looked down, and noticed that my fingers were swollen and my rings were pinching at my circulation. I got them off...luckily! and kept running. 

To sum it up: The last few miles were tough. 

I was dehydrated, seeing spots, my body was weaving, and I couldn't seem to get it to move in a straight line. (fine, that is a problem for me even on a regular run)

Did I finish? Yes. 

Am I happy with my time? NO! (4:50- my PR is 4:09 and my slowest was 4:36 before today) 

Moreover, I am just sad I didn't enjoy the race. Each marathon comes with its own challenges, yet each one has parts to it I adore. There is always a time in the late teens/early 20's that I think to myself, "I love this sport, I love seeing the people out here doing it, I am so blessed to be able to be out here." 

Not this one. 

As the 4:45 pacer put it, "We are out here to finish. Right now, our only goal is to make it to the finish line without collapsing. Focus on that. Everyone comes out of this race alive today." 

(well, I'd like to challenge her definition of "alive") 

Right now? 

My head hurts- bad. 

My stomach hurts.

I feel sick to my stomach (note to self: this may be why it hurts) 

I'm still fairly disoriented at times! It has taken me 2 hours to type this much. 

No, it wasn't a "great" race, but it did teach me to continue on in hard circumstances, endure, and heave.

One of my friends ran it and said, "I am retiring from running marathons after today's race. It was brutal and the heat killed me." 

I don't blame her!

However, I don't think I am done quite yet. The medals are rather shiny and addictive, and I don't want to "leave" on a low note. I run for the freedom, hardship, joy, and community of it. Some races bite, and some are awesome- let's hope my next is the latter!

 I'm going to go take a few advil now...like about a million. If I can get up from the couch. (Which reminds me, I hate leather couches. Seriously.)