Rant to Regret

As in, I am in a mood as I type this so I may regret it. However, my current mood will not go away unless I type this out or do something wild like clean, so here I am besides, my house is spotless. 

Many, many people in life go through tough times. I'd almost take the liberty of saying 100% of people deal with big issues at some point in their lives. 
What I love about about the human race are the intricacies that both make us unique yet bind us together. While each of us may react to a situation in a different way, bring different personality traits to the table, and offer alternative viewpoints, we are still bound together by common elements of compassion, belonging, acceptance,and love. 
Although I may not understand the journey another person is on, it is not my duty to decide what their reaction should be. My only role is to find elements in which I can empathize, take the time to learn about the situation, and really? Be a friend. 
No, it is not an area in which I excel, nor do I ever believe I will perfect it. I can only choose to be conscious of my own actions towards others and hope to do so in a way that honors my personal values. 
For myself? I find it very hard to understand others who do not feel they need to extend the same respect to others. Those who feel their opinion is law, they can say what they want, and that they have an open invitation to do so. 
Personally, yes, often I do see things in other people that I could "address" to them. 

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A few years ago now, I was listening to a sermon while running. The pastor talked about issues such as this, and how we are woven into each others lives in many layers. We are part of many, many lives, in many, many capacities. There are people with whom I have the RIGHT and the RESPONSIBILITY to speak into their lives in different areas. To note areas of concern, happiness, goodness, sadness, and so forth. There are people who I can pull aside and say, "Tell me what is on your mind. Talk to me."
So, it would stand that the opposite is true as well- there are those who I am a part of their lives, yet I am not personally the one to address certain issues. Yes, they may concern me. Yes, they may upset me, make me yell to others...whatever they evoke. However, it is not my right to address these issues with them unless asked to do so. 
I know I am on shaky ground there, but I believe we all "get the idea" of which I speak.
If I throw my opinion on others, speak into their lives, it needs to be done with a pure heart. It is not from my interests, or my ideas on how it should be done from which I can speak from. I need to speak for them in a way that lets them know I truly care for them. 
 Since I'm wading into "what in the world is Sara talking about" territory here, I will throw out an example. 
If a friend of mine is having money troubles, yet I see her out buying a new TV, video games, then complaining how there is no money for the phone bill, and how life has been unfair? I may be upset. I may see the irony of this, see what I feel is the answer, and tell her so. 
Maybe a lot of people do. Maybe there are others all out there talking about her spending, her bills, her unemployment...everyone agrees it is a problem. 
Are all of us in agreement obligated, or even have the right to speak to her about it? No. 
No, there is one person, maybe more, of whom have her best interest at heart, who can speak and support her in a way that is real and meaningful, and can provide honest support. It is not about them in any way, what they personally derive from it, nor how it makes them feel. It is about living in tandem with others, and giving support to those you care for. We all can tell the person "Quit spending money. Find job. Do this...do that...this is largely your own doing." 
Yes, it may be, but do we really believe telling them so will change it all? Like, "Oh! I see! I get it now, okay, I will quit doing that! Thanks!" 
uh...doesn't happen a lot, does it? That is why I believe it is my place to only serve this role in lives in which I feel I have a pure intention. I would rather have one person speak words I do not want to hear from their heart, knowing they are there for me all the way, than 100 people telling what I do wrong and walking away. 
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So where am I going with this rant? good question I guess it is just that...a rant. I way to voice my frustration over others reactions and opinions regarding me. 
Today? I told my MIL about my ED therapy, and how I am going to go more intensive. 
She yelled at me. 
She told me I need to follow the directions of the therapist, told me I am setting a bad example for my children, costing our family a lot of money. I tried to explain it to her...She told me I should not need additional steps, that the basic program should be more than enough for me. The disappointment in me was...obvious, apparent, like a glowing neon sign...


I spent a good couple of hours bawling my eyes out. I called Corey crying, called my friends. The wonderful people in my life helped me put it into perspective, but it still hurt. 

Bad. 


Underlying it all is a sense of disappointment. For those who have traveled with me on my journey, been with me as I struggle, fall backwards, take steps forward and learn? They are rooting for me. They are here for me, they are the ones who can speak like this. They are, and they do. They can pull me aside and say, "Sara...I haven't heard from you. What is going on? Talk to me." 


I am also saddened by the lack of understanding and attempt to empathsize in an appropriate manner. 


If it were all that easy? If all it took were someone to tell us "You need to fix this"? 
Well, I daresay the world would be -nearly- a perfect place. 
Each of us has obstacles which manifest themselves in different ways. I didn't point out the areas in my MIL's life in which she hasn't done things the "correct" way, areas of weakness she is unable to conquer. It is not my place, nor do I have any desire to do so. I could spend my time pointing out others flaws, if only serving to make myself feel better, but I choose not too. I just wish the same could be extended, you know? 


It seems to me love goes much further in so many ways. 


------end of current rant-------