This is the real stuff. And no, they are not phobias. A phobia, by definition, is an irrational fear. I think we can all agree my fears are quite rational.
Biggest Fear #3: Being forced to eat banana bread.
No, I don't want to hear about your famous banana bread recipe that will change my mind. My great grandma has one and it hasn't changed my mind.
Note: This also, to a lesser extent, applies to strawberry-banana smoothies, banana flavored Runts, and banana bars.
Biggest Fear #2: Being chased by a bear, skunk, rabid dog, or other fearful animal while running.
I've seen bears in these parts. I've found bear scat in my yard. I've watched the Bear ATTACK! shows with Asher. I am most certainly not intelligent enough to play dead if I see a bear, and I feel the bears around here are not smart enough to run away from me.
Skunks? They'd spray me for sure. Again, do I look like the type of calm, composed person who would avoid upsetting them?
Dogs? They smell my fear. (Public Service Announcement here: I don't care if we live outside of city bounds. KEEP YOUR DOG IN YOUR YARD. See? Your dog = Your yard. It's simple.)
Biggest Fear #1: Being offed by an axe murderer.
Laugh all you want. Those that know me? Don't. Why?
Because I am prime axe murderering material.
• I am gullible
• I am trusting
• I don't like to hurt people's feelings, so I make dumb decisions to avoid doing so• I am weak
• I pay no attention whatsoever to my surroundings
• I am scared to watch the True Crime shows my mom loves so much, which could provide me with protection tips
• I do, however, read the killer books, like The Sociopath Next Door, Green River, Running Red; The Serial Killer Whisperer, and some Edgar Allen Poe (Dudes got some messed up stuff. I would add a fear of being buried alive after reading his stuff, but I think that would be overkill.)
• I reference axe murderers too much. What better way to draw attention to yourself than talking about them excessively?
Those are the only characteristics I am willing to share at this moment. I don't want to give too many of my weaknesses away at once, which could be used against me.
What's your biggest fear? Share any with me?
7 comments:
I totally get the angst the strawberry/banana combo causes.
Mine is snakes. I'll live in the tundra forever to avoid them as much as possible.
I fear walking into the dark garage. People get murdered in those things.
I'm afraid of worms.
And the ocean.
Haha! I love #3!
I'm afraid of the dark. So simple. So cliche.
#2 - I am not an animal girl!
So is banana the common denominator in those foods, do you ever eat just a plain banana?
The Green River murders were right in my woods. The guy is just so weird. He has ZERO expression on his face or body language. Creepy. No sadness, no remorse, no fake smiles or egoism at all. Nothing. A shell. Oh, and Ted Bundy started his spree right here too. Seems this area is the breeding place for those kind of people. I'm glad I did not grow up here, and I ought to think about moving out of here, yeah? Yeah.
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