His brother's girlfriend is pregnant.
While this doesn't seem earth shattering, in a way it is. I'm not here to talk or judge on the fact they are not married or whatever, it is besides the point. What is hard for our family?
They are both 15 years old.
And yes, they are keeping the baby.
It seems tonight that I mourn the loss of innocence for them. Elijah summed it up best when my husband told him that his uncle was having a baby.
"Uncle is having a baby?!"
Yes, he is.
"How?"
Uncle's girlfriend is pregnant
"But dad, she's still a kid."
Yes, they both are. My brother in law will get his license, and have to strap a carseat in the back of his vehicle. When he is my husband's age? He will have a 15 year old child.
I mourn the fact that they will not get to have the carefree innocence of youth any longer. Instead of going out to movies, like they did last weekend, soon they will be changing diapers and wondering if they need to go to the store for more wipes.
Diapers instead of ipods...
Baby clothes in place of snowmobiles...
So crazy.
So, maybe you can see why I was thrown for a loop. I am not judging them or their actions, or at least until I am without fault myself. I am more sad than anything. If you could? My mother in law is taking it hard. Say a prayer for her. Thank you.
25 comments:
tough stuff...b's birth mom was 13 when she got prego. it's scary how quick you have to grow up and how hard that is...and really, how not fair it is in so many ways. no longer kids, but kids making adult decisions.
you can count on prayer from me...
I am sorry to hear this. They are in my prayers.
I can understand why you are sad even without judging. I know that I am sometimes selfish and wish that I could leave the house carefree and spend 5 hours just reading at the bookstore or watching a movie and going to dinner. I can not do this because I have kids. They will never get the chance to do this as young adults.
That is so tough. It's OK to be sad for them without it being a judgement. Their lives will definitely never be the same. They have a hard road ahead of them...but also sounds like you all are a close family. I'll pray for some strength for you all.
~Keri
Yes, this is going to be quite a challenge because the whole family will need to support them and the new baby.
My cousin had her first baby very young. Although it was hard for her, I am happy to say that this changed her life for the better.
Blessings to all of you.
That is a tough one. I agree with my beloved Keri. You can definitely feel sad for the couple without standing in judgment. I think only parents can understand how life altering children are. While they bring great joy, they can also be incredibly challenging. I can't imagine dealing with kids at only 15.
Good luck to them!
-Wenda
Following Wenda and visiting from SITS. Hello! Wenda is very wise. What a complicated situation.
Wow, thats really sad...Sad that they are losing their innocence. That their life will never be the same again. But also good, babies are always good, and it seems like they will have an amazing support system. My sister in law was 16 when she had her son, I know that she loves him and wouldn't give him up for anything...but I always wonder how her life would have been different. She's 24, divorced, struggles to make ends meet and is getting remarried this may.
I know what you are saying, it is obvious that you are not judging them, but as you said, instead are sad for them and their baby. It IS a sad situation. Luckily for that baby, they have family members to look to for guidance and support. I hope the soon-to-be mom's family is a solid rock for her as well. It's just such a rough way to start life. My husband had a child when he was 24 & unmarried (still worlds away from 15) and it effects everything. He loves his daughter and I love my step-daughter with all my heart but it's such a hard way to start a relationship/marriage. Child support, visitation... Those young parents will always and forever be in eachother's lives now whether they want to or not. I wish you all the best of luck and most importantly will be keeping those young parents and that baby in my prayers.
Wow. I am really sad for them as well. We all make choices that we look back and wish we hadn't but few of us face consequences like parenthood at the age of 15/16. They are definitely in my thoughts and prayers. At least they have a wonderful support system in you and your family.
That's so sad. It's so hard when people have to grow up young, before they're ready. But you have to hope that if they were mature enough to do the deed, that they will be mature enough to be good parents. It won't be easy. They're in my prayers.
Sigh. I don't think it's sad, and this is only my opinion, having a daughter who is freshly 17 and a son soon to be 13, kids are smart. They know the consiquences of their actions. Don't be sad for them, instead guide them down a path that will both be satisfying for their "kid" parts and now their "Parenting" parts.
Dropping in to look about for Wenda, really enjoyed your blog!!
That is hard. My brother was a teen when his first was born. They married and had three more then divorced. It is hard on everyone.
I reflect on what I was like at 15. I know I would not have been a good parent. I was so selfish. Hey, I still had a hard time at 24 when my first was born...
I will whisper a prayer for all concerned.
Hang in there...thinking of you in the difficult yet happy time.
Hey we will keep ALL of you guys in our prayers. I remember all too well what it was like having Jaden at 19 years old. I can't imagine what it would have been like to have him at 15. We are praying that you will all beable to love and support Tyler and his girlfriend through this and we will pray that God will work on their hearts and bring them closer to Him.
Much love, Jazz
I am totally feeling your "pain." My family is dealing with the same thing right now. My little cousin just turned 17 and is due in May. She's luckily going to be able to graduate high school this year... which is a year early for her.
My uncle went into "shock" mode for a while. Now.... everyone is just praying for a healthy baby and easy birth. I have to say though... my grandmother is probably the one who's going to be helping the most with the baby. She is certainly no young chick any more.
It's a sad situation but at the same time it's a baby who is a gift from God. Babies raising babies.
Thanks for the comment about the videos. I sometimes worry that they are only cute to me!! :)
I sympathize with your feelings on the family news. It is hard to wrap my mind around it and I'm not even related. Trust that God will help guide them to make the right decision, whatever it may be!
Wow, yeah that is sad. Prayers that they can be awesome parents even at such a young age and prayers for your MIL.
Oh, how hard! I cannot imagine having a child at such a young age. I had a baby at 20 and thought it was SOOO young! Prayers be with you.
That sucks. It sets them up for a rough road ahead. Having a child is difficult. Being married (or at least tied to one person via child) is difficult. Some adults can't even do it. And even though 15 is a tender age, I'm still crushed that my sister is pregnant at 25. She can no better handle it than your BIL. (OK, probably a bit more, but I still don't think she can do it!).
Several years ago, my friends sister worked for me. She came to work and asked me to come to the back, she told me she was pregnant - at 17. She graduated high school with a BIG belly, went on to college and it's taken her a tiny bit longer, but shes graduating college, and she did it by herself.
Some kids can make it.
Wow - this is a tough one. It is definitely hard not to judge! All you can do is provide encouragement and pray. I'll do the same!
Everyone involved will definitely be in my prayers. I must admit, I'm glad their having the baby. Maybe the Lord will lead them to adoption.
ARGH...what is wrong with kids...it's not a race. Dang you are a parent for your entire life once they are born...no breaks no days off. I feel so bad for both of them and their families. I wish they realized how much better off they'd be if they would put the baby up for adoption and get on with being kids. That way they and the baby could have a more normal happy life. At 15 you are ill prepared to cope with the rigors of marriage and parenthood...heck you're barely prepared in your 30's!!! I'll keepy them and your family in my prayers...my heart breaks for them all.
I just found you.
Didn't that sound so cheesy romance movie-ish? Yeah well... ;)
but it's true, I just found your blog. and will be returning. so this is your official warning. I'm now stalking you.
...
I understand this one all too well. My brother and his wife got pregnant very young...everything changes.
Hugs to you as you guys pull together to surround them with support.
I've been thinking about this post for a while, and I've been thinking of your MIL... I am sad for them too. It's not judging, it's just life experience.
I don't have any wise words, but your in-laws (and you) are in my thoughts and prayers.
15... looking back, I thought I was SO MATURE. 15 years later, I'm still not ready for parenthood... it makes me so sad that kids are in such a hurry to be "mature".
We just found out my niece is pregnant (17 y/o) and the guy is abusive. Nothing, but God is keeping me away from Home (New Orleans).
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