I love to play all computer games. Give me Tetris, Mah-jongg or Bejeweled and I'll emerge hours later.
We got the boys Super Mario Brothers 3 (for wii) for Christmas. I sat down and played it with them and almost started to cry.
The memories came flooding back.
Of why I started playing so much in the first place.
I was 12- 2 months shy of 13. My best friend was Trish and we talked everyday, several times a day. We lived 1/3 mile from each other, so we were together all the time as well. We had plans for a birthday party for her 13th birthday that weekend.
Then I heard sirens down the road.
Got a phone call an hour later
Trisha had a heart attack. She was in the hospital, being prepped to be flown to a major children's hospital.
The shock took me over. I was twelve. She was twelve. These things don't happen.
A week of misery, Trish was in a coma, and showed little brain activity. My parents thought it would be best for me to go to school all week, for normalcy. I was barraged all day, every day with questions, comments, rumors. I cried all day. Every day.
My dad kept me home on Friday, he was going to take me to visit her after lunch.
We got a phone call late that morning.
She was gone.
2 days before she turned 13. Gone.
I floated through the rest of the week, months.
I hurt and my parents/friends did not know how to help me. The thought was that if they just let me be, i'd get over it.
I withdrew into a shell and left the pain far away. I played Nintendo for hours. Come home from school and play all night, late into the night.
Taking comfort in the repetitiveness as I let the tears fall down my cheeks. Tears that wouldn't stop.
I gained 15 pounds in a short time and my friends complained that i was not fun anymore.
I played on.
and let the tears continue to flow.
Slept with her picture under my wet pillow.
I went on with life the best I could, the only way I knew how. I buried the pain down, further and further until I thought it was gone.
She was so amazing. Never said a bad word about anyone. I was the one who could be catty and mean.
I passed Mario Brothers 3 several times.
Still miss her.
44 comments:
OMG.... what a sad story. I'll be your bff
Mandi
you still had locked feelings and it sounded like a good cry....
sad stories always need good crys
That is so sad! I am super sorry!
How sad.
I had chills reading this post. What an awful thing for her family and her friends to experience at such a young age. Ugh! I'm so sorry!!!
My heart aches for you. The pain never quite goes away.
Wow, how do you explain something like that? What a tragedy.
I know it's years later, but I'm so sorry for your loss.
That is so sad! I'm sorry. :(
I have chills...how awful :(
WOW! What a horrible thing to happen to such a young girl. I am so sorry you had such a hurt at such a young age. I can't imagine how one would move on from that. You are a very strong girl.
Sara,
I am so sorry...for both of you! My prayer is that she has been with Jesus and one day ( a LONG time from now) you will see her again. My bet is that she's there to welcome you into heaven when your time is there.
Until then...LIVE LIFE to the fullest and HONOR HER EVERYDAY!!
Hugs to you!
I can't even imagine the pain! And how scary that even though you were so young, it was someone your age.
I'm a gamer, too, though out of geekiness rather than tragedy ...
That is awful! I am so sorry. To lose someone so precious at such an impressionable age. A heart attack at 12? That's scary.
I have chills so badly now. I am so sorry you lived through that pain.
That is so sad, how tragic. She was just a baby. I am sorry you lost such a good friend, but proud of you beating the game multiple times. Kudos to you for keeping her memory alive.
How horribly sad that you had to experience such a tragic loss at a young age. No child should ever have experience loss like that. I'm sure she was an amazing friend and would still be to this day.
I'm so sorry for your loss. :( I too lost friends when I was young...some to cancer, some to car accidents...it strange but certain smells and books bring back those memories...just like Super Mario Bros for you. Again so sorry for your loss :(
That is such a heartbreaking story. I can't believe you had to go through that at such a young age.
i am so sorry for you! (((HUGS)))
I can't imagine! That would be really hard to understand at that age.
That is so very sad. Im a sorry for your loss.
How incredibly sad.
I'm so sorry.
How tragic. Your poor friend. And you. And her parents.
With tears in my eyes I thank you for this poignant post. How honest, how real, how it puts everything else into perspective. I struggle with the concept of God allowing this to happen, no matter what I'm told. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I'm hoping you continue to express your loving heart.
I'm glad you are able to write about it and let all those feelings out. I'm sure you held in a lot of your feelings, I mean she was your best friend the one you would express your feelings to and then she was gone. So hard and sad that you had to learn about death at such a young age....
That's terrible. I hate that you lost such a valuable piece of your childhood, both with the loss of your friend as well as the lack of understanding of those around you.
I'm so sorry.
ok, girl, you're gonna have to warn me. i thought this was going to be some funny post about how you play bejeweled all the time and no one (me) can beat you. but this?—this was horribly sad. i'm so SOOO sorry. i wouldn't be able to cope with that as an adult let alone a 12 year old girl. :-(
((hugs)) to you.
That's something you never get over.
((HUGS))
Your my hubs dream. Ah ha ha
So sad. Sorry about your friend.
Oh I remember that day! My sis (ash) was great friends with her...which in turn meant that I had spent some time with her since Ash and I were inseperable. I was in Mr. Jaegers math class...ash was just down the hall on the other side of the library. She walked to the door of my class with another teacher...and I saw her crying. I literally lept to my feet, ran to her and we cried and hugged in the middle of the hall. I just knew...I knew she had passed.
Sara, I am so sorry for that loss. I can't imagine what that might have felt like for you as a very close friend of hers. She was truly one of the kindest, sweetest people I have known.
Wow, that is so sad! I am sorry you had to go through that at such a young age. At least Mario and Luigi helped you through!
That is so tragic. :( My very good friend passed away at age 33 August 2005. 2 months before my daughter was born. I remember the horrifying call from her mother. She was sick and had been for a long time, but I always assumed she'd get better...I hadn't realized she had deteriorated so much and I had NO idea she was going to be gone from my life so soon. She didn't get to get married, didn't get to have kids, the two things she wanted most in the world. I totally get wanting to disappear, get caught up in those video game worlds.
I read your post and tears were rolling down my face. I lost one of my BFF at 13 to an enlarged heart. He died walking his little sis to school in December of '93. I retreated to music and Mario too. Now little dude is a Mario addict at 5 years old. WE even watch the Mario Bros cartoons together. I'm cool because I can rap the song. I am a FB game junkie, and could play the will for hours.
I am so sorry for your loss. But try to make new memories of happiness brought by the boys and attach them to the game.
Wow that was deep... I wish children were exempt from loss!
Oh I'm so sorry. I can't imagine losing a best friend at that age.
Oh gosh, that's such a heart-wrenching story Sara! I wish there had been more of a support system for you. It's just that they didn't have the same systems set up up ten years ago that they do now. :(
Oh man, Sara.....isn't it so amazing how grief can come in waves, even after all these years?
So sorry you lost such a dear friend so early in life....
Oh, what a sad story. I'm sorry you had to suffer through such a tragedy.
Oooh...
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Wow at such a young age you were such a great friend. I am sorry to hear your story but I do think she taught you some things. Wow look at you go with your games.. Have a great day.. Hugs to you.
Oh my gosh, sweetie. I'm so sorry. That is devestating! How horrific and sad.. how does something so terrible happen to a child so young? And I'm sorry you had to go through that. I would have kept to myself for a long while after that, too. I'm glad you escaped into the world of Nintendo, and nothing worse, though. I'm sure you'll miss her forever. HUGS, I'm so sorry.
What a painful and thought provoking posting. It makes me want to be a better person simply because those who are gone can't be. Like we can do better in memory of them! Thank you for reminding me to be a better person.
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