Now that I have my positive ADHD testing, many things have come to light for me. I am able to view items from my past through a new perspective, and have found that, indeed, I have been "medicating" or dealing with, my ADHD in the ways I know how for most of my life.
I've never had a great time doing so, until I started to run. Once I started to run, I was able to "calm" myself down, which has played a large part in my journey to where I am today.
For me, running is my "stimulant." It allows my body to move, and my mind to run free. It is also the reason I like distance running, and marathons. For me, the training is as much fun as the marathon. Honestly, I look forward to a 15 mile run more so than a 5 mile run.
Why?
Because I can clear my mind. While running, the first couple of miles I feel tense, rigid, tight. As I continue on, my mind begins to clear. I relax...my mind begins to wander free. It is these times I live for. These moments of clarity, when it is just me and the road. I do my best thinking at these times, make the biggest decisions, and feel most at home in my body.
I've found over the past few years that my body craves this. Like today, I haven't run since Monday. Not a huge amount of time, but my body is asking for it. I am revved up, my mind is going a mile a minute, and I cannot concentrate on anything. I have been spiraling all day, unable to stop my train of thoughts, rapid movements, or leg shaking. My body is literally begging me for a release. Tonight? I will run. I will let my body go, feel the release and relax for the first time in days. If I don't run? I will continue to spiral. I will grow tighter and tighter and eventually almost snap.
See, running is my medication. Many people with symptoms like me turn to drugs, alcohol, shopping (shh!), gambling, ect to help them manage these feelings, to use as a stimulant. Running is mine.
My doctors are happy I have chosen running rather than another choice. Honestly? I have several alcoholics in my family, and it is far too likely I could turn in that direction. I've never been much of a drinker, but have found that when I do, it provides the same feelings as running. Hmm...use drinking or running to calm myself? Running.
When I started to run, i cannot describe the feeling I felt..like a coming home. After all the years of going/stopping/starting something new/going/stopping...you get the idea. I had it. I had my activity.
Yes, there is the ability for me to take it too far. In fact, i have in the past. However, when I do? I injure myself. Then I am unable to do what I love. The injuries have taught me to slow down, listen to my body, and take care of myself.
And tonight? I need my run. I need to slow the thoughts down, breathe deep, and find a spot where I can relax.
Sheesh. I love running.
32 comments:
I'm glad you've found something that helps. What could be better than exercise???
I love to run, too (Not in the cold, though. Back at the gym.) It's so therapeutic.
I need to find my thing. I think it's writing. And now I have my outlet. Sssshhh.
this is fascinating to me. Sounds like running is the perfect outlet for you.
Sounds like you've found a good vice. I like the way you describe what running does for you - it's quite inspiring. Now I just need to persuade myself to feel the same way!
if only pharmaceutical companies could bottle up running :) i'm glad running is your treatment. so much better than anything out of a bottle!
I'm right there with ya sister! I love running too...so much that I tend to burn myself out cause I go, go, go until I'm just over it. I need to get in a flow and listen to my body like you do.
You're a much better runner than I am, but you inspire me! :-)
Running is basically a natural drug. It kicks in those endorphins and dopamine, so that makes perfect sense!
Do you listen to music while you run or do you prefer quiet?
AMEN!! I could have written this. I miss running more than I can articulate to anyone but I know you get it. I have never felt so out of control in my life and I am positive it's because I don't have my outlet. I would totally equate not being able to run with going through withdrawal. Thanks for understanding...it helps me to know that I'm not alone in my thinking.
Running...so much better than drugs or alcohol. I'm glad you've found "your thing".
I feel so much better when I have a stress reliever too!
I think that is awesome! I wish I was a runner!
It makes complete sense. I have known several adults who were never diagnosed as kids, and ended up unknowingly self-medicating (sometimes not using such positive activities, like you said). And running has to be a great one! I love that relaxed, meditative experience I get from a long run. You probably couldn't have come up with a better "medication"!
Psychology is really just beginning to figure out how many addictions are actually self-medication as psychological adaptation.
At least you picked a healthy one.
Good you've found a healthy way to "medicate!"
I'm so happy you found exactly what you needed. You're my role model, hero, all that and a pack of gum! No wait, all that and a peanut butter cup!
bless you for finding the way to relax yourself. Happy running!
Glad you have running as a way to help you... Have an amazing weekend..
As I was reading this, I noticed my leg is shaking. You know like up and down from pent up energy. Then you said that about your leg shaking, I had to giggle a little.
I'm glad you've found running to be your medium. For my mother it is ceramic painting. For me, I still haven't found THE activity. you're an inspiration!
Reading how running makes you feel makes me want to run---which is rare. I tend to dread the beginning of my runs and just try to get started so I can get it over with.
I can completely relate! For me, running is like medication for curing "the blues" and I am missing it. Hope you got a great run in! :)
I don't have ADHD but I feel about running pretty the same as you. I love the long runs (when I'm not stupid broken like now). It's the autopilot of it all. Right foot. Left foot. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
I'd tell you to have a good run, but I already know you will!! :)
I like hearing about people who find alternatives to drugs.
Run, Run, Run!
I wish I could find something that was healthy that gave me that feeling. I can only eat so much chocolate. HA!
I truly believe that running is medicinal and therapeutic. So happy you have this outlet...we ALL need one!
Ok, now I can understand that. That makes a lot more sense to me... someone who does NOT love running :)
SWeating is a wonderful drug of choice...no matter which form of exercise it takes on... running certainly gives you the freedom to do it ANYWHERE and as Long as you've got some good shoes...your good to go!
ENJOY your mental "breaks" and let the miles roll!
Happy holidays
You're lucky that you love to run so much. It gives you the release you need and will keep you in rockin' shape...sorry, I'm vain as all can be, I look for what's going to make me look good in my jeans!
Seriously, great post and I'm so glad that you have this outlet and love it!
I envy those that enjoy running. Never has been my thing. I used to fake having an asthma attack in elementary school to get out of it. I bet you have nicer legs than me, too!
You're lucky that you've found such a healthy way to keep you even and balanced. I'm really glad that it works so well for you!
But yes, go easy and listen to your body. :)
I feel the exact same way about running! It totally clears my head and my heart and I always feel so much better about the day after!
I think it's wonderful you have found something you enjoy so thoroughly. Clearly it's a much healthier addiction than others you could have turned to and it seems to have a cathartic effect on you.
About a year ago, I found Bikram yoga which appeals to me in the same way. Each class is exactly the same (90 minutes with the same poses in the very same order) but I never feel the same way twice and I find it extremely challenging and gratifying. The few times I have missed my class, I feel terrible and guilty and can't wait for the next one. It's a great feeling, isn't it?
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