Blogging for Me

I know as a blogger, with a public blog, I have to accept the types of visitors who visit my blog, and for what purpose. Each of us who blog have had to decide whether to be a public or private blog, use real names or not, show pictures or not, let people know where we live...the list goes on. Each of us makes choice best for our family. Myself? I don't put a lot of family pictures on here. Yes, I do have some, but it isn't my main focus. Corey would prefer if I kept most of them off, and I respect that.
In late January, I had a great deal of items I was dying to talk about here. Things relating to my self image, ADHD, ED journey and more. I was excited to learn more from you all, so I could add to my knowledge. However, someone threw me off track, and it took me a bit to get back on. {I tend to sulk a bit before I get angry.}
I could count on one hand the people from my job who I have personally told about my blog. The same for my hometown. No, I do not "hide" it from people, nor do I advertise it. Because of the career I have, the items I choose to talk about, it lends itself better to be on the quiet side. I 100% understand that this could be found by anyone, so I better make sure I can stand behind what I post.
Where is this going? (I know, like I said, I am working hard on getting to the point, it's just I love to talk. a lot) Well, in early February, I noticed on my Feed-jit that someone from my school district had been on my site several times in one afternoon. I don't pay that much attention to the feedjit, or my google analytics for any other reason than this. I could care less who else is on here, and if had to worry about what every person who I dug around on their blog thought...well, that's just not normal.
I saw this person had come from Facebook (which they must have somehow connected me to the ImpossibleStories blog, because I don't have a link on there,) and spent a great deal of time on my blog. There were searches for my name along with other odd queries.
I made note of it, but didn't think much beyond it. Like I said, my blog is public. It will happen. They were back the next day, and the several after. Then there was another incident, one that really torqued me off. It was obvious that, whoever this person was, they were not here to become my new BFF. There was a fake twitter account set up, which followed only myself and who they thought was another coworker (turns out just some other dude with the same name.) Um, really?
I talked it over with my husband, my friends, made note of it to our school tech coordinator, and moved on. I don't know of any haters I have at my job, why they would be so worried about what I am up too, and what the whole point of this was. (All of my IRL friends who read my blog say it is just like hanging out with me anyway, and they hear the same stories here they do with me. I say they are incorrect, and hearing them in person from me, complete with arm flailing and theatrical voices is much better.) It was better to just let it go, so I did.
Sort of.
I didn't post any of the items I had wanted to talk about so badly. I let them go. I let the thought of whoever this person was, whatever agenda they have, and the insanity behind it throw me off. I didn't want this person to read my thoughts, my journey...I was angry, and mad at the whole blog world. I barely read any other blogs (totally missed you all by the way) and had my little fit.
I'm done. I'm done being angry, hurt, upset, bewildered...
I've done nothing wrong. I have nothing to hide, although I keep this blog quiet. I keep it quiet out of respect for my family and my career. However, there is nothing on here that I would not stand behind if asked. (Except that post in which I posted the picture where I tipped over my cousin's wedding cake. I'll deny it was me forever.)
I'm going to post the thoughts I had this week, share them despite the fact there is a part of me that wants to hold them in. Really, it goes back to the shame post I wrote a few weeks back. I let the thought that someone who works in the district with me was reading these personal thoughts, with notsoniceintentions, affect me. It made me want to quiet down, not share my story, become more superficial (as if I need help there.)
I guess I care more about sharing my story, hearing and learning from all of you then I do one other persons opinion of who I am. You all have been a bigger part of my journey than you'd ever realize. It is your warm thoughts, emails, comments, stories, and love that have helped me along my journey. I refuse to let that go.
I blog for me.