Old Mattresses, Corelle Plates, Life Lessons, and my Dad

This past Friday, as the boys and I drove to school, I looked out the window and saw this:

Making conversation, I commented, "Oh, isn't that silly! Someone lost their mattress on the side of the road!"

Asher laughed.

Elijah? Little did he know the truth which was about to leave his 8 year old mouth...

"Yeah mom, that mattress is so gross even grandpa wouldn't go take it."

Yes, Fine. Alright. I admit it! I'm not ashamed. I can embrace the fact my dad finds any shiny object on the side of the road a reason to stop, turn around, and go back to see what it is. My dad is a ditch digger. Actually? He pretty much digs everything now that I think of it.

Riding in the car with dad? If he saw an object in the ditch, we turned around to find out what it was. "Oh, look kids, it is a jacket. It must have flown out of a boat or something and landed in the ditch. I bet I saw 37 boats go by today, and 13 of them did not have covers on, and another 2 didn't have theirs properly latched. You know, if you don't take the time to put the cover on right, why bother? You really have to snap each of those buttons in place. That reminds me, I need to call Linda and see if she can fix the top to our pergola."

Followed by, "This is not a bad jacket. I mean, it has a rip in the side, and the zipper doesn't appear to be working, but otherwise not bad. It is an XL. Won't fit me (dad is about a medium) but I wonder if I brought..."

At this point, he looks back at the car, sees the looks on our faces, and realizes he is on treacherous ground. He gently, but sadly, places the jacket on the side of the road and hops back in the car. We take off, but I catch him glancing wistfully in the rearview mirror.

You see, one time, dad found a ladder on the side of the road. Not just any ladder, but a really great ladder. The find of a lifetime. Just sitting there! In the ditch! Almost hidden by the tall grass! Luckily, my dad's keen eyes spotted it. It has held a loving spot in his garage since. (To the person who's ladder we found, sorry. However, you will never realize the impact you and the ladder you did not properly attach on your vehicle, allowed to fly off the side and land in the ditch, had on our lives. Without your ladder? There would have been many a car trips gone on without random ditch stops. I now find it character building that dad would stop when I was a teenager, with a FRIEND IN THE CAR, to look at something. character building...character building...)

And? His ability only grew from here. Soon, we were able to use his ability in many other areas. "Sara, I was emptying your garbage, and saw you had these earrings in there. Did you mean to throw them?"

"Yes dad, I did. I received those smiley face earrings for my birthday when I was eight, and now, at 15, I am pretty much over them. They also make my ears itch."

"Don't you have a friend who might like them? There is nothing wrong with them."

When Elijah was 1, he lost a tan shoe outside in the fall leaves. With 29 huge oak trees in the yard, we thought for sure the shoe was a goner. Who would ever see a tiny shoe the size and color of a leaf in the millions of leaves in the yard?

Duh. It took him about 12.1 minutes.

I could go on...and on...and on...but I'll save myself the pain. We've rather embraced it now, this keen ability to spot junque objects, and my sister and I hope our children receive this trait as well. You never know when that shiny object might be a leatherman and not just coke can. (My ability manifested itself in shopping deals. I can spot one a mile away. I can smell one.)

One day, a few weeks back, I got a reckless hair and decided to throw away the old corelle plates we'd gotten as a wedding shower gift 13 years ago. They'd been sitting in the extra pantry for almost 2 years, why have them take space up any longer?

I should have known.

Wouldn't you know...that was the week Corey thought he may have accidentally thrown away his new iPod nano. He went to search the garbage. My dad happened to stop by at this exact time.

Corey walks in the house 45 minutes later, looking tired and crabby. Not only did he not find the nano, but "Do you have any idea what it is like digging through the trash, with your DAD standing behind me the whole time? Watching my every move, and asking WHY I threw each item away? (seriously folks, we have like 2 bags of trash a week. We don't even fill a whole little can.) And yes, the corelle plates are back. Your dad suggested we run them through the dishwasher."

Imagine my surprise then when Elijah said, "Even Grandpa wouldn't take that mattress." He gets it. He gets dad-with all of his quirks and such.

Yes, dad, I love you. I love the fact you spend $$$$ on guns you have never shot, $$$$ on boats & boat toys, but cannot pass up a torn jacket on the road.

Life is all about balance, huh?