See? I sleep by the wall, because I have always figured the first to go is the one closest to the door. However, it also means I have the furthest to run.
Last night, I was peacefully sleeping in my bed when I heard a THUNK on the bed frame. It actually caused the bed to shake a bit.
I froze, immediately going into my "Play Like You Are Dead Already" mode while I assessed the situation.
•Corey was snoring away beside me, obviously not him.
• Cats? Locked out. Besides, they are not heavy enough to cause a THUNK that large.
•Did the boys sneak in and were sleeping on the floor? No, they would come in the bed and steal my pillows and blankets.
It wasn't looking good. I tried to laugh it off, calm my racing heart, and fall back asleep.
A few minutes later? THUNK again.
Now I know I am dead. I weigh the options.
• Wake up Corey and have him tell me I am delusional? For the 100th time?
• Let The Axe Murderer kill me because I am afraid to wake up Corey?
• Run?
• Grab a flashlight, JUMP over to where I heard the thunk and try a sneak attack?
• Lie there in fear? (you guessed it, this was my final choice)
As I said my final good-byes in my head, I heard it again. THUNK. Without even thinking, I shot up, grabbed Corey and yelled, "Corey! The Axe Murderer is under the bed! Help!"
He looked at me and said, "Huh?"
"Did you NOT hear those THUNKS from under the bed!??!!?!?" I shriek.
"That was my foot hitting the bed frame. See?" THUNK, THUNK.
Uncalled for thunking. That is all I have to say.
31 comments:
Oh well he deserved to be woken up after making those thunks! So not cool
I hate noises during the night. The other night I heard a noise and somehow convinced myself Celia was being kidnapped. Way overactive imagination there.
Hmmm and Corey thought that foot thunking was appropriate for the middle of the night? You poor thing!
So glad you are safe! That would be a terrible way to go....to thunks.
hahahahaha! I think he was doing that on purpose...
I'd thunk him for thunking in the first place.
I think he does those things to secretly torture you. lol
But why? Why must he be thunking at non-thunking times?
unauthorized thunking in the middle of the night is grounds for severe consequences. that's just cruel and unusual!
Bwaaaaahhhhaaaahaaaaaa!! i am laughing so hard and my daughter is now looking at me strangely!! That is so awesome! No more thunking in your sleep, dear husband!!
Shame on your husband for uncalled for THUNKING! haha
This post made me laugh, but I am also starting to worry now. I might have a night or two by myself soon and ya know how it is... you hear every little noise. *shudder*
HA! That made me laugh! In all fairness, I'm completely paranoid at night and every sound freaks me out!
The imagination is a beautiful thing. Thunks in the night are not.
So, basically you now have two options. You can now kick him out of the bed, thus alleviating the THUMPING in the future, but also leaving you more vulnerable to the ax murderer because there would not be another warm body separating you and him. Or two, put up with the THUMPING in order to have a protector in the bed with you. Me, I would go with option two, and get the protector to do a bit of different thumping... ahem... if you catch my drift!!!!
Glad it wasn't an axe murderer. Corey totally deserves to be woken up for making the thunks.
Hehe. But yeah, my husband never hears anything either, axe murderer or crying kids.
Pfft. Men!
Ha!
I have freaked the freak out over small noises...so a thunk would have thrown me over the edge.
A couple weeks ago I woke to the most horrendous noise ever. Turns out it was a cat outside our house getting into a fight with something. It scared the crap out of me!
He was being a dick IN HIS SLEEP?! So not cool. I might have beat him with the flashlight.
Oh, btw - evading axe murderer tip: I've thought about this, and I think having a flashlight on is a bad idea. Because it makes extra shadows to freak you out, and also shows the murderer where you are.
Exception being if you can manage to shine it right in the murderer's face to blind him, and then throw it in the opposite direction from where you plan to run. That might confuse AM. Personally, I'm pretty sure that I'd screw up and throw the flashlight at the only exit though, so I'm going with no flashlight.
I am happy to know I'm not the only one with the sleep further from the door for safety.I often play dead and feel it's a solid strategy.
Stay safe lady!
How in the world does he know it was his foot if he was sleeping?!
Oh, I would have killed him. I have the same thought of the one closest to the door is the first to go.
Don't worry we can be crazy in the same boat sister!
When the axe murderer was here last, I gave him your address since I have that now. I told him to wait until Corey wasn't home.
Sweet dreams!! xoxo
Noises in the night are what freak me out the most. That's why I live in a high-rise...so I can monitor the one point of entry. :)
So I too have a healthy fear of murders, axe murders and unwanted guests in my house... haha Last night I was all by myself and I had to sleep in my mom's room w/ the door closed (because if our cats get together it is World War III-- dang cats!). I hated that feeling of being closed off-- think of how many intruders could have come in?! haha
I made it through the night though and now am impatiently waiting for my sister to get home. Ahhh!
Hoping you have been getting restful nights since this THUNKING experience!
I can always count on you for my morning giggles. :) Hilarious!!
I am such a light sleeper that any noise- any- keeps me up! I love the illustration- the sotry wouldn't have been the same without it! LOL
Glad I'm not alone in my nighttime paranoia! Ha!
Hahahahaha, sounds like something I would totally do, too!!!
He deserved to be woken up since it was his fault in the first place.
Heehee. Totally uncalled for! Love the illustration. :)
Oh my...If I hear any form of noise at night it freaks me out!!
Any noise I hear is *just the furnace* or *it's the house settling*...and my husband is an officer!!! LOL Everything is locked and stored in two different spots, not for safety, but to keep me from going rouge! LOL
Post a Comment