Haven't had a Sara Rant Lately, have we?

I was just sitting there (or not so much sitting, as flying around the house doing 90 things at once), ranting away in my head, when it occurred to me, "Sara, why are you ranting in your head? You have a blog! Rant there!"

So, here I am. 
Why am I ranting this time? Well, it is not really a "rant" so much as a "letting loose of my thoughts on an issue." 

And by thoughts, I mean feelings. And by feelings, I mean my own. 

It is more of a sadness. I have been listening to other people talk about counting calories, watching how many calories are in different items, how many they are eating per day, and all that "Become Healthy in 2013" jazz we hear so much about at the beginning of each year. 

And it makes me sad. 

Yes, you can lose weight counting calories (or some can). 

But it is stupid. Trust me. I counted calories for over a freakin' decade. 

And I regret every calorie counted. 

When has it been decided, other than by the diet/weight lo$$ indu$try that drives only to take $billion$ of dollar$ from us each year, that we - personally- get to tell our bodies how many calories it needs each day? 

I could argue on the both sides of the case, why we need a certain amount, what happens if we go over, or any other aspect of it. But the bottom line is still the same. 

Our bodies are supposed to (heck! Even designed to!) tell US how much and what types of food it wants. 

My body KNOWS if it wants carbs, fats, proteins. It knows if it wants to eat, what time it wants to eat, and when it is full. It is my mind that has a harder time with it. But, when we count calories, it is our mind telling our body what it wants and can have. 

To me? That sets you up for trouble. At least if you have a mind like mine. (Which sets me up for trouble in a lot of areas, but that is for another time.) Our minds and bodies can have different goals. Our mind wants to achieve perfection, while our body wants to run properly, provide us with energy, and keep us healthy. 

Ugh.

It may or not make sense, and I know I rant a lot. But for me? The truth? 

I know women, lots of women, who count all sorts of calories and track all sorts of numbers. 

I know women who don't count calories, eat what they want, feel guilty about it, maybe beat themselves up a bit for it, but don't bother with numbers. 

Which ones are more fun to be around? Which ones actually look and feel better? 
An acquaintance of mine has counted her calories for years. She has been trying to lose the same weight for years. She tells me about how she lost 5 pounds (or whatever it is), and how she has X amount to go. Truth? She looks exactly the same to me as the first time I met her. 

Honestly? She has beaten herself up for years, denied herself food for years, and fought this for years, and looks the same? 

Me? I eat what I want. When I want. Huge chunk of carrot cake with icing 1" thick? Sure. 
Peanut butter? Don't mind if I do. 

I weigh 10 lbs or so less than I did this time last year. (I don't really keep track, but the dr. does and that was the last #) Because my body tells me what it wants and I give it what it needs. Am I happy with my body? Have I ever been? No. 

But I don't fight as bad of a battle as I used to. I don't beat myself up for enjoying food. I listen to my body. I let my body tell me what it wants, and not the other way around. 
I still fight it, having an eating disorder for over 12 years doesn't disappear in a year (or two...!) 

Thank you for letting me get that off my chest. Sometimes I feel like the next person who mentions calories in front of me is going to get whupped. (Why don't I use that word more often? I am going to have to incorporate that in my daily vocabulary.)
  
I don't know it all, and won't pretend to, but if you ever want to chat, feel free to contact me.