a) I follow chaos
b) Chaos follows me
If you know me in real life, you already know this, if you've spent over 4.23 minutes in my company. Otherwise, if you need proof, just read this or this or even this. {Seriously. and that is only a sampling}
Last week?
• The girls and I went for our mani/pedis. I am sitting in the pedicure chair reading a magazine and lean forward. Magazine drops in the water. Oops.
• Accidently washed my hands with the used manicure brushes. Eww.
• Decided it would be a good idea to answer a phone call I'd been waiting for (from my banker) while using the ladies room at The Melting Pot. I figured no big deal, right? I'd just flush after I got off the phone. Only problem? Toilets were auto flush. Yes. And? The bathroom was all tile which made for awesome acoustics.
{Fear not, I simply told the banker I was potty training Asher, then said "good job Asher!!" and continued the conversation. Since Asher was actually at daycare, I had to say things like, "wait Asher, mommy is almost done" and "thank you for being patient!" while talking, as to not tip the banker off. I think I did a pretty good job. Except for the waitress who looked at me funny when I was talking to air.}
• I was super thirsty the other night after going to Target. We had a styrofoam Sonic cup in the car with ice in it, so I decided to pour my warm Powerade into it to cool it off. I noticed a warm feeling in my lap, followed by cold. Turns out there was a hole in the cup and it was dumping in my lap. Corey started laughing and said, "only you my dear, only you." Then? He looked at the boys and said, "Look boys, mommy wet her pants!"
• Asher pulled down my shirt at Home Depot the other day. It was pretty sweet.
• Finally, I decided it would be a grand idea to take Asher rollerblading with me- pushing a 40 lb toddler in a regular stroller. Did I mention there were 20mph winds that day?
These incidents? Happened over a 3 day period. So is it me? Do I invite these incidents into my life? Or, is it that they follow me?
Newest Asherism: "Oh, mamma, I is all outta steam. I broke down."
49 comments:
and here i was thinking that it was only me!!!! ha!
i think chaos comes to all moms of kiddos?!?
or at least i keep telling myself that so i don't go insane!!
i laughed out loud at your 'phone conversation'!! i've done that before too!!!
I do this stuff too, and I don't even have kids to blame it on!
It is a curse because they follow me too. I so have flashed ppl b/c my kids can't seem to leave my clothing in place. Sucks.
You gave me a great laugh today! I halfway expected the banker to be sitting in the restaurant when you came out of the bathroom.
Me too. Meeeeeee toooooooo.
Great post! You made me laugh right through the pain of my stitches from last night's ER visit. (See? Me too!)
Love talking to air in the public potty!
I think it may be you...
But, I will add that you were very creative with the bathroom fiasco!
What a sweet hubs you've got here. Sounds likes something mine would say. Also sounds like something I would do. Ah ha
Don't forget about the poop on your pants!!! Sorry, had to bring that up! :o)
Hahaha... I think we are the same person! No kidding, these things happen to me all the freaking time! I LOVED the line you used while on the phone in the bathroom! Haha... you're hilarious!!
I Lol'd when you pretended to be potty training your son so the banker wouldn't know what you were REALLY doing when you answered the phone. LOL!
This makes me snort out loud. I do believe we are soul sisters. My nickname has been "Polly" for many years, from that movie with ben stiller and jen aniston, I forget the title, but you would appreciate it. THanks for sharing, this was hysterical!
I totally love the section about the banker and the bathroom. Let's just say you were multi tasking.
Thanks as always for the laughs.
Your horoscope must say "today stay home" often!lol! You're so funny!
Love the bathroom story. Maybe cuz it sounds like something I would have done!
We are not alone in this chaotic mommyhood business....
Okay, so envisioning you in the bathroom talking to a pretend Asher while on the phone with the bank... best stuff I've read all day!
Boy, I wish you lived near me. We would get along GREAT!! I have those kinda days all the time.
Chaos follows me too. I think it's a given when you have kids! Loved the bathroom one-great Improv!!!
I believe you are destined to a life of chaos, my dear!
just wait... school's right around the corner. that's a whole new kind of chaos isn't it?? i can just picture all these things happening. hope you can laugh at them too... after the fact! :)
Now that was some quick thinking while talking to the banker in the loo!
I am to exact same way ... I can't seem to stay away from chaos, even when I try!
I think the chaos comes with the kids. They seem to scramble my thinking.
LOL. you never fail to make me laugh.
i love the make up story as well. i love make up too. i don't wear it EVERY day. but most days. and i just bought primer from arbonne. i'm excited to use.
i am also considering a road trip, which is about five hours-ish. to do a party for you if you really want me too! my hubby and i were in minnesota in october last year and we both loved it! where exactally are you?
I've done the potty thing too! Talking to a child who isn't there to cover up the fact that it was indeed me :) I've had the cup incident happen to me as well! The fact that all of that happened to you in 3 days is just because you are special...that's why chaos loves you so much :)
Hey Sara,
I am back in town and had to come by. To see you oh boy am I laughing and rolling. This was a great post. I love coming by to see what happens to you. You are so like me.
On my trip I spilt juice all over my pants right before we got out to the rest stop. I wonder what people were thinking.
I did not think I had my glasses on my trip. Well turns out they were in my purse the whole time.
Crazy I know.
My round Robin is this Friday if you want to join in.
So this made me laugh out loud this morning....ahhhhhhh, what a great way to start the day.
Thanks for keeping it real!
xox
*~Michelle~*
First, I think you definitely need to start a weekly Asherism post. Those are too funny.
Um, I don't know if I would call what follows you 'chaos' necessarily.
I know that growing up, I was frequently called 'Grace,' as in, I didn't have any!
But with you, it's something different. It's this 'throw what you will at me attitude,' and well, the world does!
All you can do is embrace it!
LOL I love reading your posts! I can totally relate with you on many of those....not so graceful myself!
Okay - so the thought of you standing in a public bathroom on the phone and also having a fake conversation with a kid who isn't even there is hilarious!
Yea, ONLY YOU Sara. ONLY YOU!
E
My long lost twin!
I think that we may have been separated at birth!
But just think how boring life would be without all those little incidents. Besides, it makes for great blogs! :)
For some reason, your news posted haven't been showing in my feeder! Not sure what's up with that!
As for the phone conversation...funny!! Kids and toilets just go hand in hand. :) And somewhere in another post you wrote about Asher feeding you a bugger....laughed by butt off!!
I'm missed reading! :)
he he he
i'm laughing WITH you, not at you.
oh gosh the potty training asher thing while on the phone with the banker - hysterical and so you!
Chaos must follow you when it needs a break from following me.
Did I ever tell you about my green hair for my best friend's wedding?
I don't think chaos comes before you Sara, but I also don't think you come before chaos. I think you come at the exact same time!!! Lets just call you Scharaos or Sachaosra!!!!
OMG, I am about peeing my pants laughing at the phone conversation with the banker at the melting pot! HILARIOUS!!!!
I don't know how to answer that question. I can only tell you that we are cut from the same cloth!!!
The life of a mom. Never a dull moment. At least it gives you funny stories, though!
Haha - I think the Sonic spill is my favorite of your latest mishaps. I'll stay tuned for your next adventures!! ;-)
When your banker calls pick it up!
I need a pedi...
First time visiting and I'm hooked. I swear I could have wrote this post...I feel like a big ball of chaos every day. And also, my hubby thinks I'm the biggest spaz in the midwest, apparently I can tell him there's another one out ther! :) Love your blog and your boys are way cute. Oh and one more thing, way to go on the marathon, that's awesome!
Oh, your husband is just plain mean! And funny. Darn him!
If it makes you feel any better, my 3 year old pulled the front of my swim suit bottoms down at the pool last weekend. Pretty sure the 16 year old lifeguard did NOT want to see old lady pubes.
GADS...you crack me up!!!!!!
I think the chaos ALWAYS comes from the kids, in some way. I don't think we can get past that one! :)
I am so loving that potty story and you making up the conversation! Hysterical.
Oh dear...you make me giggle! Hell it happens to me too...I think its a mom.woman.all mix in together thing.
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